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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried about ds going for a sleepover..

17 replies

MicrowaveOnly · 07/06/2008 17:12

..when the father is keen that his ds and mine camp outside in their backgarden, on their own?
they are only 8. I think they're too young especially if they wake up in the dark and get scared. I said I wasn't happy about the idea but I'm now worried cos the dad is a bit of a bully (thinks boys should do outdoor and exercise stuff all the time). I'm not sure the mum will stand up to him.

I'm gonna be thinking about it all blimin night!!!

OP posts:
nametaken · 07/06/2008 17:14

I do think 8 is a bit young to camp out. Maybe when they are at secondary school and a bit more sensible then I'd consider it.

NotABanana · 07/06/2008 17:17

Don't let him go.
It is crazy to let 2 eight year olds sleep outside on their own.

hercules1 · 07/06/2008 17:19

SOunds a really good idea. We had lots of ds's friends round for a tent sleep over when he was 10. Why is 8 too young to camp out? DD has been camping since she was 1 (not without us!)

bubblagirl · 07/06/2008 17:20

i remember camping out in my back garden at this age with my friend my parents left the back door open so we could come back in it was really fun

i can understand you being worried maybe my friends parents were also but i had great time could you phone the mum for reassurance at all

NotABanana · 07/06/2008 17:21

I don't think he should go as
they will be alone
I wouldn't let someone who is a bully look after my child
The mum isn't comfortable with it.

OverMyDeadBody · 07/06/2008 17:21

If you feel uneasy about it then don't let him go. Perhaps you could compromise and pick him up late, so they have a chance to 'play' at camping in the garden for some o the night?

There's nothing wrong with doing outdoors and exercise type stuff all the time if that's what you want to do, but if your instinct tells you this man is a bit of a bully then simply say you don't let your DS do sleepovers yet.

Spidermama · 07/06/2008 17:23

My eight year old camps out in our garden. I think it's great for them. But if you get a bad vibe from the dad I can understand your being concerned about letting your ds do it at someone elses house.

Is there a mum around? Could you ask her about the contingency plan if they get scared and want to come back in?

I do think this sort of thing is GREAT for boys.

Love2bake · 07/06/2008 17:27

No I wouldn't be happy with that either. If you don't want him to sleep outside, phone them before you go and make that clear. Go with your gut instict.

lisad123 · 07/06/2008 17:28

how does your son feel about it? do you have a mobile you can send him with to use if he needs you?

WideWebWitch · 07/06/2008 17:34
  • agree, if the dad is a bully don't let your ds go
  • I'd only let an 8yo go with certain provisions, secure garden, parent around if they get scared

I think it's young if they're going to be left to it tbh.

unknownrebelbang · 07/06/2008 17:37

If you're not happy then don't allow it.

I have no problem with the boys sleeping outside (although mine are slightly older and well used to camping), but only with certain conditions, and only if the boys were happy to do so.

Can you have the sleepover at yours instead?

Saturn74 · 07/06/2008 17:37

I wouldn't send my 8yo into the scenario described in the OP.
Trust your instincts re the parenting dynamics of this family.

findtheriver · 07/06/2008 17:51

I agree with WWW.
I remember camping out in our back garden with my brother when we we around this age. Our garden was secure, we knew the back door was unlocked so we could get in if we wanted, mum and dad were inside, we had loads of warm blankets, a torch, and of course, loads of sweets!!
It's significant that this is one of my childhood memories isnt it? It was fun, special, something memorable. There;s a danger in not letting children do this kind of thing!
But I agree that if you have doubts about the other parents, then that's a separate issue. Why not provide an opportunity for your ds to camp in your garden?

findtheriver · 07/06/2008 17:51

I agree with WWW.
I remember camping out in our back garden with my brother when we we around this age. Our garden was secure, we knew the back door was unlocked so we could get in if we wanted, mum and dad were inside, we had loads of warm blankets, a torch, and of course, loads of sweets!!
It's significant that this is one of my childhood memories isnt it? It was fun, special, something memorable. There;s a danger in not letting children do this kind of thing!
But I agree that if you have doubts about the other parents, then that's a separate issue. Why not provide an opportunity for your ds to camp in your garden?

LittleBella · 07/06/2008 18:21

I just wouldn't let my DS go and be looked after by someone whom I knew to be a bull, whatever their plans were tbh.

batters · 07/06/2008 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MicrowaveOnly · 07/06/2008 18:39

thanks for your replies, its nice to know I'm not being overreactive.

Findtheriver that sounds great, and normally I am not a overly protective mum..I've had mums tell me I'm crazy for letting my ds walk to the school busstop on his own in the morning, but I guess we all draw the line somewhere and this just feels wrong. Maybe I need to start with them being in the tent with an adult (but the dad tried this the other night and said he couldn't sleep so that's why he wasn't going out again!)

Little Bella about the dad, its just the boys get on so well and have known each other since birth. My heart always sinks when I know he is around.

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