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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you’re in a position of choice, you should always choose affluence?

84 replies

TheTaupeMoose · 11/11/2025 19:26

If you can choose comfort, ease, security and options, why wouldn’t you? Struggle isn’t noble. Rich is just better. AIBU to say that given the choice, choosing affluence every time just makes sense?

OP posts:
SconehengeRevenge · 11/11/2025 22:07

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 19:49

it sounds way too simplistic.

When do you really have that choice?

Or do you mean someone giving up their well paid career to become a struggling artist, or a doing charity work for next to nothing?

Can't see many investment bankers deciding to work in an Amazon warehouse because it's fun to struggle to pay the bills.

If people go for shit jobs when they have a choice, it's because they are or close to have a complete burnout and their mental health is worth everything, and an easy life is worth it. If it's to genuinely struggle?

Or because they have to juggle.

I.e. jobs around childcare or other caring responsibilities.

I don't think the OP has really thought this through

Assuming they're not goady or a journo

MyLimeGuide · 11/11/2025 22:12

TheTaupeMoose · 11/11/2025 20:22

They definitely took it to the extreme! I just meant more in everyday terms, like people who downplay wanting financial stability because it’s seen as “materialistic.” Theres still a weird guilt around choosing comfort, even when it’s completely reasonable.

I don't know anyone of that mindset but if you have heard of them and they exist then i think they are being unreasonable! People suffer for religion etc maybe these people you speak of are doing it for some sort of spiritual reason??

JadeSquid · 11/11/2025 22:23

TheTaupeMoose · 11/11/2025 20:00

For example, someone might turn down a secure, well-paying job because they think struggle proves passion or “authenticity”, even when the role would still let them do meaningful work. Or someone might reject financial help or partnership support out of pride. That’s the kind of thing I meant - when comfort is possible but people avoid it to seem more virtuous or “real.”

So for your first example, the problem likely would be that the person doesn't consider the work meaningful (enough), even if others might. Say someone who leaves their corporate role in some top bank to be one of the highest paid people in a huge charity like Oxfam.

For your second example, people often don't want to accept help because they believe it will come with undesirable conditions or obligations of some kind.

ninjawarriors · 11/11/2025 22:23

Sorry not sure I understand your question. We have a ‘comfortable’ life but spend money on what is best for us, perhaps not on what others like to spend on eg holidays and fancy cars.

LonelyFans · 12/11/2025 08:27

ThatChristmasMug · 11/11/2025 20:38

There are many ways to give back.

Take the best paid job, you might help a lot less people, not make a difference, but give to local causes - and for those you will make a difference, you can volunteer, give time, help. The other job will recruit someone else and make the same difference anyway?

Family comes first, then you do what you can, it doesn't have to mean you put yourself last.

There's an element of selfishness in taking the best paid positions, that you work for anyway!, but it doesn't mean your life has to be selfish.

But some jobs arent just neutral they are positively harmful. Eg. If you work for a tabacco company or a landlord who treats their tenants badly or are a manager in a business that pays exploitative low wages, or a private equity business stripping assets, or a lawyer advising on tax loopholes or how to avoid liability for pollution.
Donating a tenner a month to Macmillan doesn't cancel out the harms from the day job.

That's why I don't worship wealth or think wealthy people are better.

Swiftie1878 · 12/11/2025 08:34

TheTaupeMoose · 11/11/2025 19:50

I didn’t mean people choose poverty, more that when people do have options, some still romanticise struggle or act like comfort is morally inferior.

Who are these people?

Zempy · 12/11/2025 08:35

This is next level wafty navel gazing nonsense.

itsthetea · 12/11/2025 08:38

What is affluence ? A state of having a lot of money

choosing sufficient or more seems better to me - that gives you more options of work life balance or choice of partner.

Money doesn’t give happiness although lack of money gives unhappiness. You need enough to avoid being poor , to protect yourself but you don’t need affluence. You need sufficient and a happy life. Chasing more money over happiness seems daft to me

edit - one lady’s comfort is another’s pointless excess

edit 2 and yet those with least give more to charity as a share of their income - so rich people could give more but they tend to be the exception

RememberBeKindWithKaren · 12/11/2025 17:07

@MyLimeGuide , I've got a little Buddha outside and he's a cute little china guy who imparts serenity and wisdom to all in his little sphere of influence . Definitely more wise than your normal human :)

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