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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To challenge this informal warning at work?

55 replies

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 18:47

Short version: manager told me today I'll be receiving an informal warning- a letter- from HR for discussing my salary. I want to challenge this as it as 1- it's illegal to prohibit employees from disclosing their salary and 2- I don't think there is an issue with it either.
However, it is an informal warning that doesn't go on my file and my manager is of the opinion that it's inconsequential and not worth bothering to challenge.
What would you do?

More info if required: I am a registered healthcare professional working for a private company but in the public sector. My role is equivalent of NHS band 6.

My salary is pretty average and works out roughly to what I'd be earning at the top of NHS band 6- I am paid a flat rate salary which is comparable to band 6 NHS salary with shift/antisocial hours allowance and London Weighting added. We don't get any extras aside from planned overtime.

I have only ever mentioned my salary in passing when it has come up in context of general conversation.

As far as im aware, there was no complaint about me, rather another employe asked why they weren't paid as much as me which annoyed the head of department who took it to HR.

OP posts:
PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 20:03

ScaryM0nster · 11/11/2025 19:48

You might want to wait for the letter.

Then you can write back and ask for clarification. Then they're linked. It also means they’ve shown their cards before Youve shown yours.

Good idea, I will write back outlining my stance and asking to see the policy.

I don't want to just leave it, it the very least I hate the feeling that managment think I've done something wrong!

OP posts:
Bootsies · 11/11/2025 20:04

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:13

Annoyingly as I work for a private company I don't have a union rep. I did when I was NHS.
I think can join the union of the public sector body we provide healthcare to, I might look in to that.

you can still join a union. Working in the private sector is not a reason not to be in a union.

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 20:04

Snailslide · 11/11/2025 19:41

I’ve had a contract where I couldn’t discuss salary. It would never enter my mind to do so anyway.

I didn't bring it up, it came up in conversation

OP posts:
Bootsies · 11/11/2025 20:05

union finder:
https://www.tuc.org.uk/joinunion

Blushingm · 11/11/2025 20:52

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:38

I know, we just don't have one in-house. I can still join Unison or similar but won't have a rep at work.

We don’t have a rep - we are community staff. Union is still there at the eve of the phone if needed

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 11/11/2025 20:57

Spottyskunk · 11/11/2025 19:41

This is nonsense, public sector salaries are a matter of public record, anyone can see them on the afc bandings so even if you hadn't discussed it people could easily look it up.

The OP isn’t on a public sector salary.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 11/11/2025 20:58

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:20

It is informal, however if there is a repeat of the "concern" within a year it may trigger a formal investigation.

So not really informal then.

witheringrowan · 11/11/2025 21:05

Why were you discussing pay? If it was because of a concern about equal pay issues, the Equality Act has an explicit section that makes any clause in a contract that forbids discussing pay unenforceable - although it only applies on equal pay issues. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/15/notes/division/3/5/3/14

So for example if you or a female colleague was concerned that a male colleague is being paid more than you, and you are trying to establish the truth, they cannot forbid you from talking about pay. If you are just having a gossip, you have less of a defence if it's forbidden in your contract.

Equality Act 2010 - Explanatory Notes

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/15/notes/division/3/5/3/14

thecatdidit · 11/11/2025 21:06

@PaperwhiteTheGhost ACAS will give free impartial advice, so I suggest you contact them after you've asked where it is stated in the policy ( that you are not allowed to discuss salaries )

LivingTheDreamish · 11/11/2025 21:08

I do understand why in some workplaces it is counterproductive to discuss salary. Not for a negative reason but because in some industries people are rewarded for soft skills that are hard to quantify, and those without them are likely unaware of their lack, so it's best if they never know. But surely a quick chat could have addressed the issue, unless it is breaching a formal workplace policy in which case I suppose the letter is fair enough. If so I would just shrug and move on personally. At least you know you are being well paid OP!

Greggsit · 11/11/2025 21:19

Not for a negative reason but because in some industries people are rewarded for soft skills that are hard to quantify, and those without them are likely unaware of their lack, so it's best if they never know.

That's some patronizing bullshit! "Don't tell her John's on more money because he's better at golfing with clients, it will only upset her". Rewarded for soft skills is one thing. Deliberately keeping it quiet is nonsense.

Dammila · 11/11/2025 21:20

I don't think there is anything informal at all about a written warning. That's pretty much as formal as it gets. They don't want it on your record because then you might actually start to ask some tricky questions, like where's the policy and what's wrong with someone asking for fair pay. This is a way to threaten you without actually getting into the technicalities. I would also be making an extremely formal request to see the policy that you've never been made aware of in a written letter with a date and signature.

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 21:21

witheringrowan · 11/11/2025 21:05

Why were you discussing pay? If it was because of a concern about equal pay issues, the Equality Act has an explicit section that makes any clause in a contract that forbids discussing pay unenforceable - although it only applies on equal pay issues. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/15/notes/division/3/5/3/14

So for example if you or a female colleague was concerned that a male colleague is being paid more than you, and you are trying to establish the truth, they cannot forbid you from talking about pay. If you are just having a gossip, you have less of a defence if it's forbidden in your contract.

I wouldn't call conversations with my colleagues a "gossip".

From memory it has come up a few times.

  • My close colleague (on my team) is buying her first house. Me and DP are saving for a mortgage together. The conversation was around how much we earn, mortgage estimates, deposits and so on.
  • A college who has never worked for the NHS asked about NHS pay bands and how they compare to our salaries.
  • I chatted to another close colleage about me potentially moving to another site which is out of London but much nearer home so would be a pay cut but might be offset by the savings on petrol.

All normal conversations.

OP posts:
PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 21:24

LivingTheDreamish · 11/11/2025 21:08

I do understand why in some workplaces it is counterproductive to discuss salary. Not for a negative reason but because in some industries people are rewarded for soft skills that are hard to quantify, and those without them are likely unaware of their lack, so it's best if they never know. But surely a quick chat could have addressed the issue, unless it is breaching a formal workplace policy in which case I suppose the letter is fair enough. If so I would just shrug and move on personally. At least you know you are being well paid OP!

In healthcare it is much more structured, even in private companies. We are paid within a certain range per role, based on skills and experience. It then goes up every year like NHS spine points as you gain more experience until you get to the top end, after which you just get the yearly pay rise if there is one.

I went in to the job at the top end of the salary range, but it is very clear why that is.

OP posts:
PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 21:26

Dammila · 11/11/2025 21:20

I don't think there is anything informal at all about a written warning. That's pretty much as formal as it gets. They don't want it on your record because then you might actually start to ask some tricky questions, like where's the policy and what's wrong with someone asking for fair pay. This is a way to threaten you without actually getting into the technicalities. I would also be making an extremely formal request to see the policy that you've never been made aware of in a written letter with a date and signature.

This is exactly how I feel about it. You have articulated it perfectly!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 11/11/2025 21:26

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:38

I know, we just don't have one in-house. I can still join Unison or similar but won't have a rep at work.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. My workplace didn't recognise a union, so there was no rep there - so I got one from the union who was employed full-time, rather than someone doing it as a voluntary thing, who might be excellent, but equally might not be at all

MotherJessAndKittens · 11/11/2025 21:28

You don’t say what you actually are employed as but if a nurse (you mentioned Band 6) could you not ask the Nursing and Midwifery Council or equivalent if it is appropriate and I suggest joining a union ASAP because your bosses sound a bit iffy. Good luck x

rwalker · 11/11/2025 21:38

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:13

Annoyingly as I work for a private company I don't have a union rep. I did when I was NHS.
I think can join the union of the public sector body we provide healthcare to, I might look in to that.

Unison will still let you join in the private sector

i wouldn’t particularly challenge it but just say you had no idea you’d done anything wrong and can you see the policy they are referring to so you can avoid situations like this again

be very clear that you want to see the policy you have breached

RandomNewIdentity · 11/11/2025 21:50

You can definitely join a union, like Unison. They won't support you immediately, but will in a few weeks.

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 21:57

MotherJessAndKittens · 11/11/2025 21:28

You don’t say what you actually are employed as but if a nurse (you mentioned Band 6) could you not ask the Nursing and Midwifery Council or equivalent if it is appropriate and I suggest joining a union ASAP because your bosses sound a bit iffy. Good luck x

I am a Paramedic. I don't think the HCPC would help, Royal College of Paramedics might though

OP posts:
Smugzebra · 11/11/2025 22:49

Wow that's shocking.
I work in a vaguely similar field and got a pay rise through raising with management that a colleague told me what they were on. (They were doing the exact same thing and getting more) Neither of us got any warnings and it turns out they just genuinely didn't realize we were qualified to the same level.

Never knew it was a thing to not discuss pay with colleagues (other than it being a bit awkward!)

I can sort of understand it in a corporate sales type job but not healthcare, even private, because your qualifications and experience are quantifiable and jobs are pretty "set" in structure.

Lovemycat2023 · 11/11/2025 23:02

Ask for the following in writing:

The policy which provides for informal warnings and what happens with them. I’m public sector and we found out that these were being kept on record for 6 months (despite having no policy that allowed this). We’ve been challenging them since.

The policy which says you cannot discuss salary (these do exist in some companies but I think are quite unusual).

Full details of the complaint against you.

I would push hard here OP. I suspect they don’t have a leg to stand on.

Lovemycat2023 · 11/11/2025 23:04

EBearhug · 11/11/2025 21:26

That's not necessarily a bad thing. My workplace didn't recognise a union, so there was no rep there - so I got one from the union who was employed full-time, rather than someone doing it as a voluntary thing, who might be excellent, but equally might not be at all

Absolutely agree with this. Full time officers I’ve come across at my union are great, and will represent at the more complicated cases (even though we do have reps in house, but as you say they are volunteers)

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 11/11/2025 23:09

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 11/11/2025 19:38

I know, we just don't have one in-house. I can still join Unison or similar but won't have a rep at work.

You don't need a rep at work.

You can contact them any time via email or a telephone number.

As a PP pointed out you couldn't consult them about this anyway as it's already happened.

But I'd join one ASAP for the future.

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 11/11/2025 23:15

Are the colleagues who were involved in any of the conversations also receiving written warnings? If not, why are you being singled out?