To want to trim my large dangley labia minora myself with scissors

[Foolsr]

Obviously AIBU but I'm seriously on the edge of doing it. They look VULGAR. They look like a bloody small penis and I've convinced myself it's why DH doesn't want sex with me (he says not, but of course he would say that).

I feel ugly. I look ugly (down there). I cannot afford surgery.

It must be hormonal as they don't grow larger until puberty. I wonder if it took your hormones a while to settle down after childbirth and you maybe had less oestrogen than normal for those few months.

https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com

editing to add: this is a link to a brilliant art exhibition that attempted to address the self esteem issues created by pornification and show what a variety of shapes and sizes women are

That was probably it. I was breastfeeding so my estrogen was probably lower. They came back around when my period started again so presumably when my estrogen started rising again.

Except how they look and tbh never paid much attention to mine. Does it cause you any issues?

🤣🤣🤣

I hear you!

mine are like this but it didn’t occur to me that they were not meant to be. Def no complaints from my other half either so I’m pretty sure that your partner isn’t repulsed by them like you seem to be. Sorry you feel like this tho

If your husband is that shallow ditch him. They shrink in peri - I wouldn’t risk it. Also ouch and infection.

If your husband is that shallow ditch him. They shrink in peri - I wouldn’t risk it. Also ouch and infection.

I don't watch porn
They stretched after child birth
I'm extremely embarrassed by them & esp in front of dh.
Relationship is good otherwise... just no sex coz he never wants it and won't discuss

I'm sorry. But how often is your husband is standing there inspecting your labia?

Do you examine his penis?

Surely under the covers no ones body is perfect??!!

I genuinely cannot get my head around this level of obsession around your labia

I can't say I ever think about mine, let alone look.

I'll be back in 10 mins

Labiaplasty is about £4k. If you are serious then save up and get it done. But don't think that it will magically save your sex life because it won't. It is almost certainly not the reason your husband won't have sex with you.

Spend the 4 grand on therapy!

meh, people are allowed to want cosmetic surgery - especially if it's affecting their mental health. But, as I said, don't do it with the aim of fixing the relationship.

Your DH needs to go to the gp. No libido and no discussion will end your marriage.

affair?
porn addiction?
history of CSA?

it’s him not your body