To ask if you can make me feel better?

[Wtfisgoingin]

I’m early 30s and have worked in what I regard as a fairly toxic industry for the last decade. Just been laid off with little to show for it. I was earning well (up to six figures) but didn’t enjoy my job, mainly the people. Before I was laid off, I was just about to offer on my absolute dream home. This would have been my first purchase and represented independence after a tricky couple of years, having fairly recently broken up with my DP as we were very different people.

Anyway, I’m now looking at retraining, have just found out someone has pipped me to the post on the house and also would have been difficult to complete having lost my job. I will likely be on a lower income for a while, while retraining, but would have been able to make it work.

im completely gutted and feel like the last ten years and have been for nothing and that I’m starting from scratch. I feel a lot worse about the house than the job funnily enough.

I feel like I’ll never find anywhere comparable, that I’ve now put myself back several years and just devastated.

@Wtfisgoingin I'm sorry you have lost your job. However I think if you were struggling already then the house might have been an expense you couldn't really afford??

You were earning a very high wage, do you have savings?

Yes I’ve got decent savings and had a very high deposit. I’ve not found anything else comparable and scared about the future. I just feel like everything this has represented has gone to shit.

Try to take time to take stock and feel calm, you have great savings and will find a new home soon.

You're free.

That is scary but think of the possibilities.
You're not in a relationship, you don't have to spend 5 days a week in a toxic job, you have money to cushion you, you have time to think. You can find your dream career, you can move anywhere. You're young enough to start fresh and old enough to have a good amount of life experience, self knowledge and wisdom.

Life doesn’t always work out exactly as we expect. Imagine you’d got the house and the mortgage and then lost your job! I imagine that would be worse?

It’s really disappointing to lose your dream house, sit with that disappointment for a while. Then start to think about all the possibilities of what comes next - retraining sounds really exciting. Being fulfilled in a job you love is sooooo much better than being in your dream home while hating your job.

Allow yourself to mourn the loss of the life you had.

Then try some reframing-
You've lost your job-
You are now free to retrain in an area that you're passionate about. You have savings behind you so now is the time!

You are in rented housing-
You are chain free with the deposit ready, when the right house comes along you'll be in prime position

You re free! To Travel, take time out to study, to start new hobbies etc.

Wow. Thank you so much all of you.

Actually just had a little cry. You’ve really helped.

Yes as a pp said, it would have been much worse if you had lost your job after the house purchase went through.
Go for it with retraining, this is definitely the time to crack on with that. Everything will work out for you