Friend and her jokes at my expense

[GuyForksAndKnives]

My friend makes odd jokes. Well I think they're odd. Examples:

I had on some body spray from Lush that smells like bonfire toffee. I said I'd also used the same flavour shower gel and body lotion. "God do you smell that bad you have to use all that?"

She also makes jokes about my height. It's not ok to joke about being ginger, about skin colour or other attributes so why is being 5feet 1inch hilarious and a source of jokes?

AIBU for not getting it? She does it with others too. "You know David that long streak of lightning" for example.

She's not grown out of the kind of mean "jokes" she made when she was a teenager. Step away from her.

She’s not your friend.

That’s no friend. Tell her to stop this, in case she genuinely doesn’t know how dreadful she is. If she doesn’t end the friendship. If she says other folk don’t mind her “ jokes “, be clear you do.

Next time she comes up with one of those, ask her, "What do you mean by that?" with all seriousness and don't fill in any silence that may follow. Let her elaborate and don't let her get away with "Oh, nothing". Hopefully she'll get the message. If not, find another friend to hang out with.

Well, she sounds like she is challenged in the wit and humour department. I don't think she has a very good idea of what a joke is, or even what a friend is. In fact she sounds like an immature, tedious bore.

When you challenge something like this you invariably get accused of having a sense of humour fail, gaslighting in effect. Why she'd think I stink is baffling.

Ex friend and her jokes at my expense surely?!
Does anyone laugh at her shitty jokes?

Yes, she sounds enormously tiresome. Is this someone you really want to be practising her laboured witticisms in your vicinity, OP? Maybe you could get one of those ‘sad trombone going “wah wah wah”’ sound effects (you know, like when someone gets an answer wrong on a tv game show) and play it every time.

Or just say ‘Linda, I don’t think humour is your strong suit. Maybe just stick to the weather?’

She does sound like she’s not grown out of being the school bully!
I do have to ask as to why anyone wants to smell like toffee though?!

Pretend you are taking her comments literally and answer accordingly. Re body spray+lotion use - "Oh, don't you use body lotion after you shower? Most people do, and I don't like to mix scents".

long streak of lightning - "hmmm, why do you call him that?" <innocently>

Being 5'1" - Yup, I get all the fellas, both short and tall!

If all fails, just give her the Paddington bear stare and a raised eyebrow without saying a word.

If she accuses you of anything like humour fail, just repeat the question and if she insists on avoiding it, it's time to start avoiding her as she is obviously still 13 in her mind.

They aren't jokes.

They are unpleasant jibes at people by someone with a massive chip on their shoulder who feels the need to belittle other people to boost her own feelings of self worth.

I wouldn't call someone who continually tried to ridicule me a friend.

No doubt if you did it to her she would take offence. People like this are usually desperately insecure. She is not your friend she is a nasty bitch.

OP, she doesn't genuinely think you stink. What she said was a joke - it's just a crap joke that isn't funny. And if you're sensitive about your height / hair colour or whatever, then obviously she shouldn't joke about it.

You don't sound well-matched as friends at all. If you were both people who ribbed each other about things and took the piss, it would be fine - but you clearly aren't comfortable with the dynamic, and she dismisses that instead of respecting your differences in approach.

My friends and I do joke around with each other - we all have very different styles/looks and different personalities and we all joke about each other's quirks. For instance, it's a running joke that I pretty much always wear black, and that one of my friends is obsessed with trainers. But it's all very affectionate and we all laugh. It would be different if anyone was actually hurt by it, and if they were, we wouldn't do it (or, more likely, we wouldn't have become friends in the first place).

5,1 and smell of toffee you sound perfect👍😁
Your friend isn't a friend knowingly upsetting you time to say ta ta 🙋

You need to weigh up if her 'jokes' are worth being her friend.

Exactly this . Many jokers and Mickey takers don’t like the same being done to them.

I've had some car problems with water coming in because of all the rain and when I told her she said you'll have to drive in wellies.

Does she do it with other people? I’m guessing that’s the full extent of her humour, not very imaginative.

She's an insecure bint, you don't have to be friends with her you know. You're an adult, you can ditch people like this now, don't waste the precious life you have hanging around with arseholes who need to tear other people down to feel good about themselves.

(Also I bet you smell amazing, that bonfire toffee stuff is wonderful!)

Just to clarify OP, my husband is ginger and people make jokes about it pretty much non stop. Not sure where you got the idea that that was unacceptable because everyone does it at work, at personal events, it’s pretty constant.

Well it is unacceptable. And it's not funny either.

She doesn't think you stink. She's making a joke about you using three variations of the same novelty flavoured toiletry.

I've had some car problems with water coming in because of all the rain and when I told her she said you'll have to drive in wellies

...because you've got water in your car? What is it that's upsetting you about this?

You seem either extremely insecure, or you're actively looking for things to get offended about.

Her jokes sound rubbish - if you don't like them, tell her.

Op you seem to be on tenterhooks every time she opens her mouth.The wellies whilst driving is clearly a joke.
Mocking your DV abuse is not a laughing matter.

It sounds like she's just rude. As those things aren't funny. How would she feel if you mocked something about her appearance that she had no means of ever changing?