I can't parent anymore

[Stressedoutmummyof3]

I'm done with parenting. I can't do it anymore. I know everyone will pile on and tell me what a shit mum I am and you would all be right. That's why I can't do it anymore.
Parenting a child with autism is so hard. I've spent the last 20 minutes in the shower washing and combing shit out of his hair. His bed and floor are covered because no matter what we try he will not use use the toilet (doesn't understand) or keep his nappy on.at night.
My husband cooked last night and the kitchen is now a pissing disaster area. Don't know how he fucking manages it. I've had no sleep thanks to my husband snoring.
Yet somehow I have to take my son to school, clean his room, do the shopping, wash up I can't take it anymore.
If I'd known how bad being a SAHM would be I would never have agreed to it. I loved it when my DDs were little but they didn't smear shit everywhere or have four meltdowns before 9.
I honestly feel like dropping him at school and running away. Never coming home. I do actually love my kids and husband but I think they'd be better off if I just wanted away.

Just commenting that a song came on while I was on this thread, ordinary world by duran duran! Words are excellent for this, I will learn to survive! (even though some days it is actual survival mode lol) We live in chronic stress daily, I cannot stress enough that you need to carve a bit of life out for yourself again!

Solidarity here. I've got 3 with autism and a baby. I don't feel like I can parent anymore either. You are doing fantastic as you are xxx

Ps as a fellow mum with ASD kids at least you are getting him to school. I can't even manage that at the moment

That sounds really hard. You are not a shit mum, you are just dealing with a lot of shit (metaphorically and literally!).

Do not be embarrassed at all, ever!!

Can you afford any home help or respite care? I would do this if I could afford it. But can't right now :(

Book a cheap Travelodge one night at the weekend or whenever DH is off work and leave him with the kids. Hell soon see.

Hi I really feel for you. I have an non verbal autistic child and it can be hell. I haven't read all the responses so I'm sorry if someone has already given these ideas. I've brought these special jumpsuits for my daughter with zips at the back which are designed to stop children stripping and smearing their poo. I brought them from special childrens company online. They are expensive, I wish they would be more affordable but they are a lifesaver.
You can also ask for a social care assessment through your child's GP or school. We are in the middle of one. Hopefully they will be able to help you. Let them know how hard it is.
It's so difficult and I definitely have my moments that I just can't manage.
Hugs

@Stressedoutmummyof3 please also post on the SEN board. There are lots of people on there with loads of experience in situations like yours who may be able to give specific advice.

Good luck!

This is the post you need. It is going to change. For sure. And you have to hang on for the change. Today is awful. You’re the opposite of a bad parent - you’re amazing. Keep going! Do whatever you can to look after yourself more too. Survivial mode right now.

You aren't an awful mum at all. I don't have any personal experience with SEN and I have days (a lot of them) where I don't want to parent and run away. It must be on a 100 x worse scale for you and your feelings are totally natural. I can't imagine how hard it is for you.

Hopefully someone with experience will be along with better advice but I wanted to acknowledge how hard it is for you.