To not know a lot about DH’s past relationships (and to not want to)

[Timetravellerbroth]

Before I met my DH, he was with someone for 10 years (they broke up a year before we met). He’s almost 50 so before that he also had a fair few relationships.

When we were first dating we talked a bit about our past relationships and particularly why the longer relationships didn’t last, but I don’t really know a lot about his relationships, including about life with the person he was with for 10 years, except why it ended.

I caught up with a friend of mine recently who was asking me some questions about his last relationship and was surprised that I didn’t know much about that time of his life. I know the highlights - where they lived, why they didn’t marry, what went wrong.

But AIBU to not really want to know too much much more about it? It’s not relevant to our relationship. Their break-up was fairly uninteresting and I can’t think of any good reason to want to hear about the happy times.

My friend was saying it wouldn’t bother her at all to hear this stuff from her DH (which is funny as they’ve been together since school!), but it’s really not for me. I don’t fancy picturing him happily coupled up with someone else.

More power to anyone who wouldn’t mind hearing this, incidentally, but I’ll give it a miss!

Sounds like you know the basics, such as reason for break ups. Where he lived etc Thats all you need. Tells you how they handle situations and what they feel they need for their happiness. Im with you .. its also irrelevant what they looked like

I think it depends really on what about the past relationships is important to now. Some of my past relationships had quite the impact on who I am as a person now and so that was important to discuss with my partner when things got more serious. I owned a flat with my ex so that came up pretty quickly as it was constant drama. Similarly, I've had partners who needed to talk about their ex for some reason. If his 10 year relationship was really uneventful and boring I guess there is no need to talk about it and no need for you to know.

If you don't want to know, then that's all there is to consider.

I.tnink.it does no harm to do a Google search on him. He may be very honest but you don't want any nasty surprises do you?

Good Luck

What's the point? Before my partner I had something like 15-16 relationships of various lengths and they had 8 or so. That's a lot of water under various bridges. How much time can you be bothered spending on that? I know a few things that happened that were relevant to who they are now and what they believe in, and I know a fair bit about places they went on holiday (lol), but nothing more and I'm not interested to. Same the other way I think.

I know the basics and nothing else, but not really because I don't like the idea of picturing him happy with someone else. Just that his past relationships aren't relevant to our current one, and I'm honestly just not that interested.

I'm the same, I know hardly anything about my DHs past conquests and would rather not know!