Do you use a knife and fork?

[beebee25]

I was in a pub the other day and was queuing at the bar for a drink. There was a group of people eating a roast dinner nearby. One of the diners was just using a fork to eat her food. Scooping it up on her fork and shovelling it in. She seemed to be struggling with her Yorkshire pudding and got her knife out for a bit and chopped it up and then reverted to a fork.. why would somebody eat like this? I appreciate she may have been American but I have noticed recently a few young people eating like this. This makes me irrationally irritated and I have no idea why.

AFAIC, so long as a person doesn't jostle others at the table, and manages to convey food from their plate, bowl etc. into their mouth without it falling out, or them drooling or slobbering, and I don't see it again (so no talking with a mouthful of food), then I couldn't care less what utensil they use, nor what hand(s) they hold it in. It really doesn't matter.

Where do you stand on chopsticks, OP?

Whether i eat with a fork and knife or not depends on the food. Some people eat pizza with a knife and fork. What matters most is the health and goodness of the food. But we should be respectful around the dinner table.

Can't remember which book of Bill Bryson's that it was when he pointed out that it was bloody stupid to squish peas down on the top of a fork. He wasn't wrong. It is rude eating with your mouth open, but how you get the food into your mouth isn't that much of a big deal presuming you don't drop it all down your front.

My elderly mother fell and broke her shoulder. It was very badly smashed up and consequently she could only use a fork for many months afterwards. She was mortified by this, truly embarrassed, and if I caught you staring at her eating, I would have given you a very long, very hard stare back until you had removed your gaze.
She was even more embarrassed that, for the rest of her life, even when she was able to use a knife again, she was only able to hold it in the dreaded pencil hold. I'm guessing you probably think that's "wrong" too.

Not with soup.

My ds insists that roast chicken dinners are finger food 😂 fucking savage 😂

Really? You wouldn’t care if someone’s elbows were in your space, squashing you into a corner? What if that was on both sides? OK with that?

I mean - you do you, of course.

I do yes, I sit with my left elbow resting and eat with the fork in my right hand. In fact, for the majority of our dinners at home I eat with a spoon. I do this because in my house eating isn’t a performative task and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks!

This is me too. I do use a knife if things require cutting but if, for example , I’m eating chilli and rice I quite often get to the end of the meal and my knife is still lying unused on the table. And to think when I first had babies I struggled to eat one handed 😳

I've seen quite a few young people holding their forks straight up and down in a fist-like grip while sawing away with their knives. I was both fascinated and shocked. 😂

As a left-hander I use my fork in my left hand, and it stays in my left hand even when ‘fork only’. Knife in the right hand (and also right as in ‘correct’ hand haha).

Right handers are the weird ones - usually it’s fork in left hand, knife in right hand until you eat ‘fork only’ when you swap it to the right hand!

Always - even for eating pizza.
I witnessed someone eat lasagne with a spoon recently 🤢

I only use a knife if I need to cut something solid. Otherwise, I only use a fork: I’ve never really given it any thought, I’d be surprised and think someone tedious if they even noticed.

My British parents are late 60s and do the same, so it’s not an age thing or an “American” thing.

Were you in my house last night?!

I completely fail to see how this will have any impact on you!

This is normal for left handed people. Why judge?

I eat with just a fork due to my disability. You wouldn't know that my left hand doesn't really work by looking at me. Perhaps try not to judge in case they have a similar disability.

I have a close family member with a progressive (and eventually sadly terminal) neurological disability. They are finding difficulty cutting up their own food now so someone else does it for them and they can then feed themselves using just their fork.

Why do people think it is OK to judge people who eat this way? It isn't offensive, if disabilities are the cause then you can't necessarily see those either.

Enjoy your ill informed judging! We'll be paying no attention.

I use a knife and fork but am guilty of “ shovelling it in “: DH often does a double take when he notices I’ve emptied my ( equally portioned) plate while he’s barely halfway through his meal.

In 2025 people still benefit from eating meals at the table using the proper cutlery

Table manners are different globally. There’s no one correct version.

Yes by all means sit at the table and use cutlery, but it’s the judgement attitude I couldn’t get over. She would constantly nitpick us the DC not sitting up straight with their back straight, elbows on the table, making sure you’re napkin was on your lap like you were in an à la carte restaurant(even when you were having a bowl of cereal) eating every single morsel you put on your plate because that was the expected and accepted a thing to do. Regardless of whether you said you were full or not. It was fucking constant and so tiring, I never enjoyed a meal with her.

You need to look up the etiquette of eating with chopsticks, now that’s next level. I do abide by traditional English and Chinese table etiquette, having been raised by both. We taught DS GF to eat with chopsticks this week, she did really ok though I did baulk at DH taking over as he doesn’t hold his in the best manner.

People can eat how they like but disability issues aside I like traditional table manners. DS ex GF used to lick her knife, I never said a word, over a couple of years she saw none of us did it and just stopped doing it. Real manners means not pointing out peoples lack of traditional social graces even if you don’t like it.

A lot of people have trouble with their hands due to arthritis or a stroke so the diner may have found it easier to use her right hand. Anyway it’s NOYB.