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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Car seats.

6 replies

AimeeJane98 · 11/11/2025 00:03

Quick background, myself and sons dad split at the start of the year. We now live separately and are still friends, we get on well.

Our son is 2 and a half. Up until we split hes always been rear facing in the car (for reference I am now without a car but sons dad has one). I wanted him to be RF for as long as possible as we all know its so much safer. Hes turned my son around to forward facing a few months back now. Everytime ive brought it up he always gets irritated saying well "hes better this way" "I can see him now" "his legs are too long". Even when we were together there would be an argument regarding this issue.

I just want to know what everyone else thinks on this because I really want him to turn him back to RF but he refuses even though ive showed him countless evidence and videos. He always replies with a stupid comment like "you dont trust my driving or you dont trust me as a parent" Which is absolutely not the case at all. I tell him all the time hes a great dad and a great and safe driver but its other people on the road I dont trust! It really gets to me and keeps me awake with anxiety! I also think he doesnt strap him in well enough which ive mentioned countless times.

His parents have also got a car seat from Halfords which is front facing. They also dont belt him in correctly either. With their other grandchildren I noticed the straps were always far too loose. Even they would make the same stupid comments about not trusting them.

Any advice on how I could approach this again? As its been a while now and I know he wont listen to me. Its honestly making me feel sick with worry. Am I being OTT?

OP posts:
BoyOhBoyFTM · 11/11/2025 01:33

OTT. Sorry but pick your battles. Maybe insist on strapping him in properly. I'm all for rear facing but what he's doing is not illegal and many parents feel the same as him.

Especially given you need to co-parent for another 15 years, I'd focus on more important stuff.

Nickyknackered · 11/11/2025 01:51

You need to accept that you are co-parenting now and he is just as allowed to make decisions about your son as you are. This won't be the last thing you disagree on before your son turns 18!

JS25 · 11/11/2025 01:57

As you are now co parenting you have to pick your battles. He can make decisions about your son without your input.

what should be discussed is the big things, medical care, schooling etc

i totally get your point though but you just have to grin and bear some things

MumChp · 11/11/2025 03:55

Mind your own things not his. You can't make the decisions then child is in his care.

itsme43 · 11/11/2025 04:11

I agree with you OP. I would absolutely HATE this. I can’t see what would be considered more important than your child’s safety. However, like others have said, he is his parent and can make decisions without you. Once he’s not with you it’s not something you can control I’m afraid.

GarlicBreadStan · 11/11/2025 06:58

I don't know why people are saying to just grin and bear it.

It is your CHILD. It is unsafe to not have them strapped into the car seat properly.

I wouldn't make a fuss about him not being rear faced anymore. I know that it's safer, but it's not illegal.

However, I would insist that he is strapped in properly.

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