To not let DS play against this team?

[WorriedFootieMum]

DS is 15 and has played football for local teams for 10+ years. There's one particular team in his side's league who have form for violent behaviour at their matches. Most of the time it's low-level stuff - rough tackles, pushing, sly digs in the ribs when they're bunched up for corners etc. - but there have been two games this year where it's escalated into real fights. In the summer a group of school friends turned up, waited for the end of the match and set upon a boy, pushing him to the ground and repeatedly kicking him in the head and ribs until parents rushed over to intervene. On Saturday, there were escalating incidents culminating in one of their players punching a boy on DS's team who had just scored and both sides piling in. It took the ref, coaches and parents several minutes to break it up.

Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt but I don't want DS playing against them again. What happens if a punch or shove goes astray and someone suffers a real injury? Or one of their mates turns up at the next match with a knife? One of the mums was knocked hard to the ground on Saturday trying to shield our team's players from the other side attacking them and has been off work with concussion. That's bad enough, but imagine it was a child.

WIBU to tell our coach that DS will no longer be playing against this side? I'm genuinely concerned for his safety and that of the other players.

What action has your son's team coach taken? This would be my first question. The coach has a duty of care and also a safeguarding duty to abide too by law. It's his/her responsibility to report these incidents to the appropriate body. If no one is making a formal complaint, then these incidents will keep occurring. The fact it's a low level teen league is completely irrelevant. The coach on the other team involved is doing a piss poor job of disciplining his team and those taking part in such incidents should have a several match ban. I wouldn't want my child playing against this team either, but at 15 the decision needs to be your son's with some helpful advice from you!!

I voted Yanbu.

if it was rough play only I’d have said YABU.

However mates turning uk specifically for a scrap and it taking a bunch of adults to stop a physical fight. No way. You’re right that one punch could change the outcome and the plans clearly are for a fight to happen.

There was a team like this is my son's league. The FA does take it seriously IME.

In my experience both coaches and referees report incidents like this. I would check with your coaches as I would imagine they will share your concerns.

Where is their respect officer in all this?

Very few clubs have these, they have a welfare officer but that can't be at every match unfortunately.

It depends on the league. Our league requires one from each side every match. Luckily we have a low aggro level.

What league is that? I’ve worked at grassroots and professional clubs all over the country and never heard of this rule anywhere

Cambridgeshire. A big deal here.
www.cambridgeshirefa.com/news/2025/sep/10/respect-ambassadors-coming-to-cambridgeshire-football

I emailed the county FA safeguarding team and the league, copying in our club's welfare officer and DS's coach. They've been very quick to respond and the county are taking the lead in investigating.

If kids are being routinely and predictably assaulted, what are the police doing?

If kids are being routinely and predictably assaulted, what are the police doing?

Have the police been informed? They can't do anything if they don't know about it.

I haven't contacted the police.

Update: The FA have investigated and decided to charge our club with not having their supporters under control. Apparently it's fine for kids to thump eachother on the pitch, as long as their parents stay behind the respect line. The coach is furious with me. I've said I'll pay any fine we end up with but they could also be docked points in the league. I'm aghast. What kind of safeguarding culture is it that penalises someone for making a safeguarding report?

Is that the end of the investigation or are they also bringing charges against the other team? Because honestly, I agree with charging your own club. If parents are involved in fights, there needs to be consequences. And you are not being penalized for making a report. The whole situation has to be investigated, and it is your choice to pay the fine for the club.

There should also be consequences for the other club, but if it involves individuals, particulary juveniles, you and your club may not be told what they are

No idea about the other club. Parents were not fighting, they were physically standing between their children and the children trying to attack them. No parent laid a hand on any child.

If clubs can't report concerns without threat of being penalised themselves, they will be less likely to report. That is poor safeguarding culture.

And I don't blame our coach for being furious. I would be too if I was a volunteer and was handed a stack of paperwork and a massive headache.

Thd adults will be o. The lookout t for trouble this gime round. If he doesnt play you need to expect bi. To be deselected for fjgife fixfufes. Hou can't cherry pick.

I think you're right to be cautious. I remember a friends son playing a sports match and the other team were notorious for poor sportsmanship they were able to sneak sharps onto the pitch and he took an almighty injury to the leg, very close to his artery and he has a massive scar now. They were only 13 but the parents were as bad offering other parents for a fight for trying to defend their kids. Hopefully if it's being dealt with he won't have to go up against them.

Walter Mitty FC?

He doesn’t

That's awful, that poor kid. Incredible to think this actually happens.

Sport always has danger in it, when in doubt always tell the teacher.

At 15 I would say they are older enough to make their own mind up on this

I’d look if you can report the county fa to the fa.