To be surprised by the number of needing high value or "present pile" threads

[Breadcat24]

Bearing in mind most people are being hit by the increase in cost of living I am really surprised by the amount of threads around the following-
I want a present pile
They do not want to spend on my presents
I am being expected to spend more than I can afford
They are prioritising something else over buying presents

Christmas has become so transactional, with people just buying stuff. Fine if you can afford it but do not pressure other people. And also it is a shame about all the bulking up with plastic tat.
I am really surprised because I thought most people were moving to less but higher value/ sentiment.
Expecting a load of flack. End of the day do Christmas your way, but I am surprised bulk and high expenditure is still the goal

That's the first sensible idea I've seen on any of this sort of threads. Money invested is literally the gift that keeps on giving. (And, yes, I'm fully aware that investment returns are not guaranteed!)

Well done!

YANBU, we started non materialist Christmas last year and it was lovely. We're doing it again this year. We put lists in the family group chat and everything needs to be something that will be used, worn, eaten, washed with - so bath stuff, but of the kind the recipient wants but which would be a special treat. Clothes but specific items and with people clubbing together to buy the pricier things. Good quality spices and seasonings that people love to cook with. And I've asked for replacement crystal wine glasses because I have broken 2 this year, but they must be charity shopped. We also make things for each other.

And we use reusable cloth gift wrap.

My dad gives me £50 in a card and asks for £50 in return, my mum asks me to buy what I want and transfers me the money (she doesn’t limit it which is nice but no sentiment) I’d rather not bother but they won’t hear of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

There’s so many more this year, not even the posts but the comments- I can only spend x hundred per person this year.

Exactly its pathetic.
All this because of some fairytale that a baby was born to a virgin mum sometime in December years ago.
What the hell has it got to do with its.
Have a rethink people.

I agree with this.

I don't mind the present pile and food threads. Most people on Mnet are richer than me and some are totally minted, as long as they're happy about their Christmas, that's all that matters.😊

It's the Grinches and moaners who piss me off. Why would anyone want to take the sparkle out of it?🙄 Christmas is about the spirit: kindness, generousity and togetherness.

Totally agree. And these same people only ever seem to buy new items- won’t entertain the idea of charity shops, FB marketplace or Vinted (not talking about Christmas stuff necessarily, but just general purchases).

I realised recently we could do with some more cutlery but didn’t need a full set. DH is a bit more frivolous and spendy than I am and suggested buying a full set from Amazon ‘because it’s only £30’ I said I thought it was unnecessary and popped up to the local charity shop to buy just the few items of cutlery we needed for £1.60.

Compared to when I was younger, there is a much stronger sense of entitlement these days. And people don’t even try to justify their excessive consumerism. I see it on MN all the time. ‘I’ll spend my money how I like, it’s none of your business’ etc. whereas I see greed and the destruction of the planet as everyone’s business.

The increasing consumerism of Christmas gets me really down tbh. It feels like Christmas has lost its magic. There isn't much my family and I want, we don't want more 'stuff' it ends up feeling so oppressive.

This year I'm focusing on Christmassy experiences and building new non-materialistic traditions.

I hope increasingly people feel this way.
Quite frankly while vouchers and gift cards used to be despised as unimaginative and impersonal at least they will be put to actual things people want.
be nice if there were some unused present swap things as well.
And maybe I gave a gift to x christmas charity in your name.
Maybe I am just anti excess stuff!

Sounding super miserable now so will leave it. But hope you all have a nice festive season

I think this is a bit of a harsh take. If you go back to the pagan origins of the season, what you get is families getting together, keeping warm against the cold and the dark, sharing food and bringing a little cheer. It doesn't have to be the materialistic splurgefest some people make it. It can be whatever you want.

Agree @pointythings. I’m an atheist as is everyone else in my family. We celebrate Christmas and we call it Christmas but I see it as a midwinter festival. Just a cosy time to brighten up the darkness. Food is the most important part of it for me! Getting together with loved ones for a lovely feast is just a really nice thing to do.

Totally agree @Breadcat24 One thread today had a poster bragging about only spending £42 on her one DS's Christmas gifts, as she had been to jumble sales, facebook marketplace, charity shops and so on, but she had got him about 27-30 gifts.

I found it hard to believe that she had only spent £42 to be honest, as there was such a LOT. She said she is buying a tablet for him too, and he's only 2. And she asked if she should get him more!

Absolutely bonkers. As I said on that thread, my brother and I only had about 12 gifts each, and we had quite a reasonable sized extended family.

One of my favourite Christmas gifts was a Lendwithcare voucher that my friend bought for me a couple of years back. DD chose my first entrepreneur to support and when that loan was repaid, we re-invested and are now helping another. It really is the gift that keeps on giving ❤️

Really? I've only seen a cutla them. (Sorry, couldn't resist).

The adults in our family do a secret Santa so we all just buy for one person each, it’s a decent present because our budget is 70 quid for one person, instead of 20 quid for each adult, and it makes life so much easier. Best thing we ever did.

This drives me insane. My MIL is constantly owing everyone, in debt etc. but INSISTS on gifts for Xmas and birthdays and it can’t be like a £5 item has to be something expensive. We end up choosing ourself or receive something completely pointless

They simply must have a bronze hand reared turkey in the region of £300. We had a supermarket one and eyebrows were raised.

Meanwhile the house is falling down round their ears and we all know there’s no money so WHAT is the point? Who is the benefit for?

There's a middle ground between a book, pyjamas and a selection box MIL made three dc share the fucking selection box because Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and an ipad, all the lego, princess dress, children's make-up, flashing trainers, scooter, zapper, etc, etc.

This year ive decided to do things a bit differently. My kids have ASD and ADHD so I dont know if this is why I decided to change. Previously ive got them stuff, but money is a bit tighter this year so I want to spend it wisely.

My eldest is 13, very much an introvert, likes to be in her room, doing art, chilling with her cats and listening to music. But she really struggles with organisation, doesnt like clutter but also likes "her" clutter. So ive spoken to her and im going to do her room, in the gothic/vampire theme she wants, ive got her an old dark mahogany bureau with so many little draws 2nd hand for £65!, and im looking for the next peice of furniture. I will organise "zones" so that her clutter is semi organised and im adapting a few bits too. That will make her happier and her life a little easier. Obviously she will have things to open on Christmas, art bits, books etc.

Then my youngest, im going to turn his bedroom into a sensory room as that will benefit him the most and hopefully help transition him into using his room more and fingers crossed sleeping in his own bed. Ive found him some sensory stuff on vinted. His presents on Christmas will be around his special interest.

I feel excited to do this, I know they will love it more than tat

We don’t receive Chiristmas presents. This is our choice. If we want anything we can buy it. We only buy presents for people who are under 21, so at the moment this means that the only people we buy for are our grandchildren. This arrangement seems to suit everyone.

I suggested ‘thriftmas’ as I’ve got into charity shopping this year and find some amazing bits… my family went mental despite them not being able to afford Xmas they still want the boots 3 for 2, perfume gift sets etc 🫩

The Boots 3 for 2 are the worst! I always feel like it's a token, thoughtless present.

Not sure there's any need to be disrespectful of one of the world's largest belief systems. Fine if you don't believe. I don't either. But describing the Virgin birth as a fairytale will be deeply offensive to many and is quite unnecessary.

You won’t be annihilated by me - plenty of mumsnetters of various ages and income levels like this too - the style and beauty board is always an eye opener for me at what many think is normal spending levels - problem is I guess what’s an incredibly expensive £120 top for someone is ‘a bit of a bargain’ for others.

and the recipient doesn't even want it!

We're all really looking forward to it this year. DS1(18) moved to London and is having a miserable time, but he's coming home for 2 weeks and in time for the panto.😁

Dsis buys everyone tickets in February and that's the bulk of her Christmas shopping done.