I’d really appreciate your advice. There’s a group of mums I’ve known for a few years, and I’ve found myself in a difficult situation with one of them. Not long ago, there was a matter of public interest that we campaigned against as part of a wider community effort. Things were going well, and we had a lot of local support.
However, one of the women involved, who had initially been on our side, suddenly changed her stance after being offered a role within the organisation we were challenging. She effectively sabotaged our campaign and undermined our efforts. Some of what she did was visible, but much of it was quite underhanded as she used her new role to influence certain decisions. As a result, we lost momentum, and I eventually had to step back. The whole experience was a real blow and had a lasting impact on me. It even led to some changes in our family life—my own decision, but still influenced by everything that happened, and I am generally deeply disappointed with her.
Since then, I’ve been keeping my distance from her. But because we live in the same area, have children of the same age, and share mutual friends, it’s becoming harder to avoid contact. For example, there’s a mums’ get-together coming up—something I’d genuinely like to attend—but she’ll be there too. I don’t want to speak about her behind her back or spread any gossip, but I also don’t want to upset the host by not going, especially as she’s partly organising it for my sake and it is a very small group.
What would you do in my position? Would you make up an excuse and cancel at the last minute (the hostess went to great length to find a date that worked for everyone). Or attend, but pretend that everything is fine? Or attend, but keep interaction to minimum? or any other solutions. Thank you in advance!