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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For becoming less and less attracted to my partner?

13 replies

PumpkinSpiceLatte93 · 10/11/2025 13:10

I have been with my partner for around a year and a half. It is a same sex relationship. We have our own separate places, around 20 minutes apart.

There are a few things that are really starting to put me off. Physically, there are habits that I am noticing, such as; a real declining effort of personal hygiene. She won’t shower for 2-3 days at a time and still expects to be intimate which I absolutely refuse to do until she has a wash. She has got in a rut of eating junk food and being quite greedy with food. For example, she will eat her food and then when finished, will constantly ask how my food is and hinting for some. Because of these things, she has put on quite a bit of weight too, and just makes no effort to look presentable. She also has started passing wind on purpose, multiple times a day, at really inappropriate times because she finds it funny. I just find it disrespectful.

Mentally, there has been an increasing neediness from her and she gets sulky if I don’t comply. For example, I have woken up today, had no plans or commitments and just wanted a nice and quiet chilled day. From the minute we woke up, I had one question after the other thrown at me, constantly being touched in one way or another, and I just wanted a breather because it felt extremely overwhelming (I was driving and she was literally stroking my arms and legs). And then when I go to take a step back and actually voice “please give me some personal space and not touch me for 5 minutes”, she puts on a face and sulks about it.

All of these things combined, I’m becoming less and less attracted to her to the point where we haven’t been intimate for almost a month because I feel a little repulsed by the idea.

AIBU?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 10/11/2025 13:12

Oh Christ just dump her. It isn't working anymore.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/11/2025 13:12

YANBU, she sounds like a pain, I’d end it personally.

ExtraOnions · 10/11/2025 13:12

Your relationship has run its course.. and you can split for any reason

Takingbackmylife · 10/11/2025 13:15

Wow that is so unappealing. She sounds depressed given she isn’t washing or looking after herself, the excessive eating and clinginess. Can you talk to her about her mental health?

It’s pretty disgusting she wants to be intimate… I wouldn’t suggest anything with my DH unless we had both washed in at least the last 12 hours or so!

Takingbackmylife · 10/11/2025 13:17

Oh and the farting… yeah there’s no excuse for it. I’ve never done that in front of my DH in 17 years! It just doesn’t need to be done! It’s disrespectful!

pikkumyy77 · 10/11/2025 13:17

Ugh. Just end it. It sounds horrific.

Beamur · 10/11/2025 13:18

This relationship has just run out of appeal for you. Time to move on.

Swiftie1878 · 10/11/2025 13:18

Common sense. You know what to do. 👋

Coconutter24 · 10/11/2025 13:19

Sounds like the relationship is over. She’s probably got a bit too comfortable in the relationship and it’s coming across negatively now. Does she work?

JHound · 10/11/2025 13:19

This is who she really is. She has stopped pretending otherwise now she has you.

You can choose what to do with that but the lack of showering would be a dealbreaker for me.

ZaZathecat · 10/11/2025 13:23

Yuk, she's no longer on her best behaviour. Time to end it

DeedlessIndeed · 10/11/2025 13:25

Yeah, she was on best behaviour for the start of your relationship. She's now comfortable, and you've found out that your comfortable is not compatible with her comfortable. It's a shame, but it happens.

End it, because even if you discuss it and it improves temporarily, it's not sustainable or conducive for long term happiness if you can't fully be yourself around your partner.

ldnmusic87 · 10/11/2025 13:44

Just end it, she sounds gross.

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