to ask DP not to take DS to his dad's house on the day....

[MamaFormerlyKnownAsGlam]

my parents are driving 200 miles to see their grandchildren?

DP is not speaking to me as I asked him to take DS to his dad's tomorrow instead of today. Bit of background...DP's dad lives in North London, we're in East London. DP has never taken 14 week old DS to his dad's on his own before despite having opportunities. My parents will be here for less than 24 hours but they are "taking over the weekend" and I should have asked permission before inviting them to stay.

When I said that it wouldn't make any difference to DP's dad (he didn't know DP was planning on bringing DS) what day he visited but it would make a lot of difference to me he basically said that it didn't matter as I was refusing to let him take DS.

That didn't happen. I just said I would be happier if they went tomorrow. He also said that I would probably physically try to stop heim taking DS but he wouldn't do that to his son. I know he said that because he was cross but it still hurt that he would think that.

DP has gone to his dad's on the motorbike and won't tell me when he'll be back. Meantime my parents will be here shortly.

So, tell me, AIBU in asking DP to take DS tomorrow instead of today?

He wants to take him today as my parents "will be here all afternoon all night and tomorrow morning". He said he'd be back by 3 but he's always late. DS goes to bed at 6 so the fact they are here for the evening is irrelevant.

Thank you for your post. I was beginning to think I was in an alternative reality.

Y most certainly ANBU!

Agree with notjustmom (especially the twat part!!)

How is his relationship with his parents and yours? Is he jealous of your relationship with your parents?

Love the photo of your ds in the bath btw (and the one above). how cute!

tootiredtothink In fact he says I'm jealous of his relationship with his family as they're closer to each other. That is not true and I have no problems with my family, or his for that matter.

thank you tootired

Sorry for being harsh but tell DP to get a grip of himself and grow up! this is not about him and he should not be so selfish! Your parents are coming to see their dgs and will be desperate to see him right away. Have they ever seen him? Has DPs Dad?

Never mind his relationship with his family.

His relationship with you, sounds positively toxic.

YA definitely NBU!

Don't let his childishness affect you having a lovely time with your parents.

Our parents have seen DS about the same number of times (3or 4). My point this morning was taht it's a lot easier for DP's dad to see DS for purely geographical reasons.

DP does not want to take DS tomorrow as Sundays are for doing nothing. Really? Not my experience of Sundays

yes at times (mercifully very few) this relationship exasperates me.

No, you're not being unreasonable.

Your dh is being childish. Just like mine is when I invite people to stay without asking him. He never invites people to stay, and if I asked him first he'd say no!

He'll sulk for a bit, then come home and be charm personified. You just wait.

Oh God, I really feel for you, I too have an ex who is jealous of the time our child spends with my family!! Toxic is the word someone used earlier and that is so right! You are not being unreasonable he is, you have done exactly the right thing. You didn't say "you cannot have your child" you asked him to change arrangements by one day.

Oh no sorry, he's not your ex, how embarassing ground swallow me up please!!!

thornrose sorry to hear abaout your ex. I really hope DP doesn't become my ex, he's a good bloke really. I know what that sounds like, believe me but I do have hope that there will be better communication in future.

thornrose

I believe that was me doing a bit of "projecting"

Dangerous stuff, projecting. I'll blame you if it all goes tits up when he gets home.