Would you disturb this setup for career progression

[Strangedillemma]

I have two young DC, 4 and 1 yo. I have worked in public sector for several years and some jobs have come up in another department.
If I get it it would mean an added train commute of 30 mins each way, additional £300 monthly train tickets, while my current office is 5 mins on bus or 15 mins walk from home and it's nearly free to commute.
It would be additional £10k increase in salary but more responsibility and a new organisation to navigate, however it would be good for my long term career.
Needless to say I am currently knackered because of young DC and the baby is a bad sleeper so wakes up several times each night. I like my current manager and team hence in no rush to change anything. I get 31 days annual leave due to been having here long time and get to work flexibly 4 day week.
What would you do in my position?

I don't think the pay increase is enough to warrant the extra commute costs, but I'm someone who is generally all about the money.

Do it. I made a significant change to my job with a 1 year old and 3 year old. It was hard work but it had a hugely positive impact on my career. As others have said, no man would be giving this a second thought. Also flexibility is much more usual since covid. Good luck to you.

I made the jump from G6 to DD when my eldest was 18 months old quite a number of years back.

I think flex working is better now so you should be able to negotiate your 4 days. They will def try to take your extra leave away as you're shifting to an SCS contract but see if you can use it as a negotiating chip.

The move to deputy director can be brutal as the expectations are a lot higher BUT I'm very glad I did it when my kids were small. My experience was that I needed more flexibility once my kids were in school. I now have one in secondary and one late primary and having built up reputation and goodwill when they were smaller has been a godsend. The early years are physically very tough but logistically more simple - they go to childcare, they get collected from childcare, sorted. School years inevitably mean more of a patchwork especially if they get involved in sport/music/other activities.

I agree to go for it and then negotiate something that works for you - but don't forget to see your leave as having financial value etc etc.

I'd absolutely go for it. You have nothing to lose by trying and then if you do get it I'd probably go for it then too. Don't limit your career for young DC. You'll miss the boat then kick yourself. Now is your time!

@JassyRadlett thank you so much for sharing your experience. How did you find the first year of your move with young DC?

Honestly, it was ok. Tough, but ok and I never found myself regretting it. I was definitely tired and sometimes stressed but tbh I had been tired and sometimes stressed in the previous role. I was definitely picking up work after kid/s were in bed and there are high expectations at SCS about doing what needs to be done to get the work done - but my experience is that it also comes with a lot more flexibility about how the work gets done.

I do have some core memories of sprinting across Westminster Bridge in heels to catch the train for nursery pickup that I would definitely not repeat with hindsight! But those were also the days when Teams/Zoom were unheard of and the only meeting you had with colleagues who weren't physically in the room was by awkwardly huddling around a spider phone and I basically had to cage fight for a slightly compressed week.

I think if you've got a parter who's a proper equal parent, then absolutely go for it. I'm outside the CS now but really glad I took the leap when I did.

I’d apply and see what you can negotiate before making a decision but I would do it if
you've got a supportive coparent who WFH a lot.

Is the 10k after tax and the additional commute expense?

I would; my thinking being babies grow up and some things like sleeping get better. Since this stage is fleeting (though I appreciate that it likely isn’t feeling like that presently) and if your career is important to you, I would say go for it and prepare for a hard adjustment phase … nut with potentially good reward at the other side

I would definitely apply. Life's too short and you're still a human, not just a wife and parent - do something for yourself too.

But, make absolutely sure that if you are offered it, you will take it. Don't wait until the offer to decide whether you want to commute or be away from your child. Don't be that person that finds out about holidays or flexible working after offer then turns it down. Do it now, have a chat with them, make sure the role is going to work for you and them. Go for it, good luck!

This.

You get the interview experience which in the civil service is quite a process isn't it?. You get more visibility across the organisation.
30 mins commute is really very little and you are in a great position if your husband is currently wfh to get the job, have a little less flex for a bit and work to getting in back after a while when you've built up trust.

Any travel ? That is a bit more of an ask with small ones but not impossible with a supportive spouse

I would go for it personally. Yes your kids are small but I found school was more of a headache than the nursery years.

No harm in applying anyway, at least you will know if you could even 'get it'

The money though - £10k more per year on your salary does not = that in your pocket. Depending on how much you already earn you might take home somewhere between £5k and £7k per year. £3,600 of which will be used on the train. I know you said money is not the main thing in this for you.

I have a 3 year old and 1 year old. I would not move, your job sounds flexible and understanding which is so important when kids are small. I really like being their with my kids every day after nursery/ before as well.

There is no right or wrong and everyone has different wants out of life. So just weigh up what you want more. I have my career still half going, but very much on pause but I don't mind.

I don't think you can 'have it all'. I think you can have anything you want, but not all the things you want at the same time. So I can't start trying to be a CFO of a top 100 company and also do the creche run and be able to go for them at the drop of a hat. I can do both of those things, but not at the same time

i
can only add that my experience of a 30m train commute is that you need to budget twice that in time terms for finding a parking space and as safety margin for delayed and cancelled trains.

parking is v expensive too unless you can walk to station?

If your dh can pick up from
nursery though, that isn’t such an issue on the homeward stretch

How much of the £10k will you see after tax? If you'll pay 40% on the increase, knocking it down to £6k and then annually £3600 train fares, I'm not sure the longer days would be worth it for being £2400 better off per year after deductions.

Personally, it would have to be an amazing job that thrilled me to bits and made me long for Monday mornings if the above calculation applies. If your circumstances mean that you'll see most of the £10k bar your commuting costs then it might be worth it given that you say it will be good for your long term career.

I will see very little of the 10k in all honesty. I have been approached by the recruiter who is recruiting, I am not actively looking. I feel I can take this leap when kids are baby and establish my career before they are in school, when I need more flexibility. I appreciate all the responses. The change in salary would be 70k to 80k, so I won't see most of it.

Aren't civil service jobs banded? It's probably at the lowest level of the band with room for manoeuvre. I would simply say that you are only prepared to apply if they are prepared to consider a starting salary of £99k and see where that goes. You will either get a No or a response like we could stretch to £90k.

Or - £80k but for a 4 day week if that's attractive.

it’s worth applying - good for practice even if you don’t get the role.

I’d go for it and try and get it - the roles don’t come up often and ones later may have bigger flaws or you may not be great fit with the people interviewing etc. At any sort of seniority the reality is it’s a bit of a myth that you can just catch up on the opportunity later - by that time you should be climbing the next rung. The 30 minute commute might be quite nice as a calm time for thinking - and your kids will already be a little older by the time you start the role.

I would apply. How long would the hiring process and transfer actually take?

Where I’m at I’d expect anything from 4 to 7 months. => you‘re 1 yo would be about 2 in that case and you’d have a sufficient amount of time to prepare for most work related changes.

Hi OP, im a long standing SCS1, and have lots of mentoring conversations with women who are considering the transition to SCS and wondering about impacts on family etc.

my personal experience has been that it’s easier being a parent and a DD than a G6. And that is largely because you have more control over your time and the structure of your day. You set deadlines rather than meeting other people’s - and you have people like you working for you.

I find that the weight of responsibility is heavier, mentally - so you are publicly responsible/buck stops with you much more - and that feels different, psychologically, even if it doesn’t make a practical difference.

for me, the promotion bit is a no brainer in terms of opportunity. The thing that would give me pause is the practicalities of the commute - but you should be v clear about the hybrid working rules - it will be at most 60% in the office for most SCS roles, and there is often flexibility. Also worth talking to the boss and getting a sense of their flexibility - mine is wonderful, and sets a great example by publicly being flexible for stuff like kids assemblies, beaver camp etc.

Thank you so much @Zitouna for sharing your experience. It's quite encouraging to know about things from an SCS perspective.
I have a call with recruiter to discuss this further. I have been having conversations with DH about the practicalities of it if I get the role. It feels overwhelming to think about how it will all work out if I get it.

As someone who climbed the corporate ladder and now has to also line manager as part of my role, I’d stay where you are with young kiddies.
The stress really isn’t worth it.

I’d go for it - and keep pushing forward.

I have children this age, commute, and work full time however - so the routine doesn’t sound too onerous.

The one year olds sleep is likely to only get better, then you may be kicking yourself for not doing it.