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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

i dont think i am.

27 replies

stitch · 07/06/2008 10:35

ds, year six, walks home fairly regularly. he also walks to the library on occasion, and to the gym from school after drama rehearsals.
tha school say no mobile phones allowed.
i think he should have his phone on him, particularly when he is walking to the gym/library.

OP posts:
NYC6723 · 07/06/2008 10:39

i totally agree.. can they not keep phones in the front office for him to pick up on his way out of school?

littlelapin · 07/06/2008 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carmenere · 07/06/2008 10:39

Well it would be nice if children of that age could be trusted to resist the urge to use their phones at school. but in reality they can't so I can understand the school rule. We didn't have phones at that age and we all survived, he will be fine.

learningallthetime · 07/06/2008 10:46

If he just buried it at the bottom of school bag and told no one, who would know?

Original poster
stitch · 07/06/2008 10:47

yes, i would like the school office to handle it as well. but they wont. it is easier to have a blanket rule banning mobile phones.
carm, i'm sorry but i dont agree with the ideas that we didnt have mobiles so our kids will be fine. society has changed a great deal since then.
he is 11 now.

OP posts:
Original poster
stitch · 07/06/2008 10:48

he has been putting it in his tray, and so far no one knows, but i really dont like the thought of him learning to hide things from authority,
it hasnt become an issue actually. and as long as he refrains from using it in class, it shouldnt become one.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 07/06/2008 10:52

If you don't think he is old enough to go to these activities without a mobile phone then perhaps he just isn't old enough to go to them unaccompanied? I would not be encouraging my child to break school rules, that is a very bad idea imo.

mamhaf · 07/06/2008 11:03

Yanbu. Sometimes children need to learn to break the rules too, if there's a very good reason. This will stand them in good stead in the big bad world of adulthood where you do need to question authority at times and not always play by the rules.

Your dilemma is a balance between giving him some independence (and you feeling comfortable with that) and him conforming to a blanket rule which is there to make teachers' lives easier.

As long as he's discreet, I'd encourage him to keep the phone, switched off, at the bottom of his school bag.

Explain to him that usually you expect him to abide by what the school says, but in this instance, his best interests are in having the phone to help keep him safe.

Wisteria · 07/06/2008 11:08

Agree with Carmenere

learningallthetime · 07/06/2008 11:10

Abosolutly right mamhaf

constancereader · 07/06/2008 11:13

It is not really practical for a school to take charge of a mobile phone. If it is allowed for one then it must be for all. Scores of mobiles to be handed in and out at the beginning and end of the day would be a nightmare. Schools are really there for other purposes!

I agree with Carmenere too.

Carmenere · 07/06/2008 11:16

If the school does something that is blatantly wrong in regard to your child's welfare (see the thread about the atheist child being beaten up) well then you come down on them like a ton of bricks as that is plainly bull shit.

In this case the rule is sensible and there for a reason and encouraging you child to break that rule sends a very bad message to them.

nzshar · 07/06/2008 11:36

I totally agree with mamhaf. By your reasoning carmenere dss(14) should not be able to go anywhere including school. He has a blanket mobile phone ban at his secondary school but for his saftey and our sanity he takes one with him to school, but switches it off and leaves in bottom of bag until he leaves school for the day. Dss lives in London and has an hour to an hour and a half public transport journey to and from school everyday. It also allows his father (my dp) to contact him at all times. Sometimes rules aren't always for the good of the individual.

Carmenere · 07/06/2008 11:49

Well obviously you are parents to the exceptional children who will keep their phones off and hidden in school. The rules must only be for other peoples children

Original poster
stitch · 07/06/2008 11:52

thank you all for your thoughts on this.

OP posts:
kittywise · 07/06/2008 11:54

I agree that if he needs a phone then he is too young to do these things alone and you should go with him.

lulumama · 07/06/2008 11:57

agree with carmenere and kittywise

i think that if you are concerned enough that he shoudl have a phone on him, you should accompany him

encouraging flouting of rules and subverting authority in even a minor way can eb really counterproductive

if it gets nicked, or he gets found out and in trouble, it will be distressing for him

can he not wait until he is at seniors to do these things, when phones seem to be allowed?

kittywise · 07/06/2008 11:58

hello lulu

lulumama · 07/06/2008 11:59

alright?

kittywise · 07/06/2008 12:01

Yes, hanging on in there, feeling broody and giving myself a slap!!

lulumama · 07/06/2008 12:02

shall i slap you too !

findtheriver · 07/06/2008 12:21

I think it's stifling his independence to not allow him to do these things without his mum. He's Year 6 for goodness sake! And YANBU to want him to have his phone on him - I am the same with my kids. Just tell him to keep it switched off in a pocket or bag.

scanner · 07/06/2008 12:35

Is he alone when he walks to and from these activities or with a friend? If he's with a friend I wouldn't be so concerned about having a mobile. If alone, I'm with the others who say take the mobile, switch it off during the day. Rules are made to be broken - sometimes.

misdee · 07/06/2008 12:42

i think yabu.

year six is age 10/11?

dont agree with phones in primary school.

teach him how to reverse charges, or keep 20p in the bottom of his bag to make a call from the phone box.

phones make children an easy target for mugging.

kittywise · 07/06/2008 12:46

findtheriver, it's a shitty thing to do to teach a child that's it's ok to flout the rules just because you don't agree with them

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