To be upset at this interaction in the shop

[Sunnie7]

Was in the charity shop today. A mum was in there with her two kids. Mine accidentally bumped into one of her sons. I don’t think she’d even realised she had done it and I didn’t see it either. I over heard the boy said ‘mum she just bumped into me’. Her mum said ‘I’m sure she didnt mean to but if she does it again I’ll have to say something’. Then the son said ‘she didn’t say sorry’. And her mum said ‘well obviously she hasn’t been brought it up properly’.

I didn’t even see it happen and asked my DD she said she didn’t or didn’t realise she had. I asked her to apologise to the boy and just said we hadn’t realised. The mum continued to be funny with me round the shop

I understand you are upset as you over think. I tend to do the same but after a few hours of over thinking I forget about it. I think your daughter accidentally bumped into a child and the mum should have just said to her child never mind it was an accident. Don't worry kids sometimes bump into others and don't realise or don't think to apologise. I work in a school and it is a common occurrence. So forget it now and enjoy your evening.

these responses are so caustic! And wouldn’t be said to your face, OP. I understand how that would bother you but I would just have faith that your daughter is being raised right and that mother was just a bit of “busy woman” eg loves a bit of confrontation. Don’t think about her - you won’t see her again. ❤️

@Sunnie7 You're getting in your own way. Learn to not GAF what strangers think about you. And remember your daughter's watching you and learning. And please don't ask her to apologise to keep someone else happy when it's not warranted.

Some of the responses here are pretty tone deaf considering you sound like you do struggle with anxiety and overthinking, OP. I would agree that you shouldn’t let it bother you now though. I think the comment made by the mum says more about her than it does about you. Young children are often clumsy. You know you’re doing the best you can. That’s all that matters ❤️

I completely understand you were affronted OP, it's a weird comment to make, but I wonder if she was trying to explain (badly) to her DC what the "right" behaviour would be, for her DC's benefit in future, and didn't mean for you to hear? In the past (albeit when my children were very young, e.g. my 2yo now) when my kids have said things like "that boy just ran on the road/picked a flower/touched the glass", I might have said "oh that's naughty behaviour isn't it, we don't do that" - not loudly enough for them to hear obviously, but just to "teach" my child. I'm not actually judging that kid or the other parent etc. I grant you she worded it weirdly though if so.

That's true! None starts with "I was in the M & S food hall when..."

You aren't helping yourself by posting about it on a forum. That's just reinforcing the overthinking. Find something else to think about. Watch some telly. Read a book with your DD. Plan a fantasy holiday. Find a guided meditation to follow. Put on some music and dance. Etc. When you catch yourself overthinking, force your mind away by focusing on something else.

Lone parenting is hard. Have some compassion and stop doing this to yourself.

OP, be kind to yourself. This interaction shows far more about the other person than it does about your parenting skills. It’s really not worth giving a second thought.

Don’t be hard on yourself either, it’s not easy on your own.

All the best.

What was actually wrong with what was said though? A child bumping into someone without apologising is bad manners. She just said it out loud, but everyone thinks it

It's become worse it seems each year. I just have to imagine that many people are so very miserable with themselves, they only way they can cope is to take their self-hate out on others.

Kindness actually used to be a wanted attribute. I guess nasty has replaced it for some people. shrug

I would just tell your child to apologise when or if they bump into someone then go about my day not worrying. Im an overthinker but that would go over my head unless it was directly to me.