Apologies in advance for a very long post.
I have been with my fiancée for over 20 years now, we got engaged a long while ago but never married (did not feel the need to, our mutual choice).
Our relationship is generally ok however we are both very busy and I started to notice we are drifting apart for a while. Some of that was due to both of us not prioritizing time together enough. He works Monday to Saturday and I work Monday to Friday. Due to the nature of my finances work he finishes very late in the week (10pm, sometimes later) Sundays were always ‚our’ day we usually spend doing something together. Our sex life isn’t great at the moment, I have a very low libido due to combination of me being on the pill for 30 years and my brain always overthinking everything which does bring my arousal down, and I struggle to get in the mood a lot of the times. He doesn’t always care for foreplay or creating a mood ‚for my head’, which sometimes leads to painful sex for me as I’m not quite aroused enough but he does frequently complain we don’t have sex enough. He has a very healthy sex drive.
He has met a girl a while ago through his work as she was his customer, she is significantly younger thank both of us (late 20s, we are both in early 40s). I guess from there they started getting closer and started chatting frequently on the phone and over messages. Previously and as far as I know they have always met in a group of friends together from my OH work. She is very attractive, fit, obviously very young, very well done (extensions, lashes, lips, facial aesthetics, boobs, typical ‚Instagram’ and OF aesthetic),l, she does quite a lot of influencing work and she frequently posts photos in very risqué outfits, showing a lot of flesh, if you got it you flaunt it and I seriously don’t blame her, that’s how she gets work although it’s not to my taste, I know men do like that kind of very out there visuals.
My fiancé liked all of the photos and posts on her IG. He has a professional account and doesn’t post anything private.
He is thinking of leaving work and opening his new business. I know the girl has been helping him a bit with that, drafting some emails for him to send, stuff like that. I was a little bit hurt tbh that he didn’t ask me because I would gladly help.
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t mind a female friendship if it was purely platonic. However what happened today left me feeling very uneasy. I was looking at my OH iPad just reviewing some photos from a holiday that we just came back from when a message popped up from this girl that she was coming downstairs. Not thinking much I clicked on the message and saw he arranged for them to meet for smoothies and a walk with her last night.
My problem is that my fiancé left not long ago telling me he was just going to run an errand and come back, so essentially he lied and did not even mention that he was going to go and see her. Messages earlier in the thread were about him not enjoying the holiday much (no mentions of me whatsoever) and that he wanted to come home already. I also found out he’s previously gone to her apartment to help her move and to the new apartment to help mount a mirror. He even text her he couldn’t sleep at night thinking the mirror will fall down. Some of the other messages from him in my view have flirty undertones (I was hoping you were missing me🤣, ‚I Don’t know who’s more lucky, you getting a promotion or me having you🤣’)
As far as I can see the messages from her side are friendly but not flirty.
I text him the screenshotted message about them meeting up now and asked him why he lied to me about where he was going, he replied with 🤦🏻.
he’s still not home.
Am I overreacting?
what would you do?