To post messages from partner in chat GPT

[Hoping1235]

Yesterday I posted some messages my partner had sent me in chat GPT - I did it to make sense of what he was saying.. my partner saw and is very angry about it.. AIBU?

Well, what was he saying?

I wouldn't risk that. ChatGPT comes up with all kinds of rubbish.
Why was your DH annoyed about it?

How did he see? Does he check your phone?
Chat GPT isn't a good tool for making sense of things in relationships in my opinion. You're best speaking to a real person for a human view. I don't think you were unreasonable to do it and if your partner checks your phone that is a red flag.

His messages were having a go at me for various things.. I get upset but sometimes thinks I'm being too sensitive - I posted in chat GPT to try to see if I was.. I know it sounds pathetic but I don't really have anyone to talk to about it and thought it could help me contextualise/ rationalise..

I've done this - also done it with my dad. My DH knows and doesn't mind - he was curious about what it said. As long as you have the setting turned off that allows your messages to be used for training data I don't see any issue. Are there problems you are looking for help with?

What exactly is he angry about? Does he think it's a real person on the other end?

It can - to an extent. Bear in mind it will always take 'your' side. I copied and pasted an interesting mumsnet OP into it once and asked it to identify the signs of domestic abuse/coercive control and I asked it from both sides - it gave me reasons why both parties were abusers and both parties were victims depending on which way I asked. It's by no means equivalent to a human and will validate whatever position you take, but that doesn't mean it's not extremely useful in some ways.

You'd be best posting the messages on a forum like this. It doesn't sound pathetic at all. It's unlikely your being too sensitive, messaging someone having a go at them is unlikely to be reasonable. People argue but that's generally in person about something in the moment rather than messages having a go.

Agree. Messaging your partner instead of talking about things in person is often done when the person having a go knows their side of things doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

Thankyou everyone. I really appreciate the responses.. his messages are harsh and loaded with criticism.. i
think I post them to chat GPT to get some support..
I don't want to burden anyone else with them..

Thing is, Chat GPT will always agree with you so you won’t get a balanced response. Husband could put his view in and it’d agree with him, it’s basically a narcissists dream.

Much better to talk to an actual person even if that is your husband.

I think in a healthy relationship, you and your partner should be able to talk to each other and not send texts or use Chat GPT. Is he abusive? If so, you need to leave rather than try and work it out.

It could also be because one person never listens and shouts / talks over them. It really depends on the situation.

Just post it here or somewhere similar OP. At least you will get some balance. Obviously it would be better to talk to him. The only concern is AIBU can attract some biased anti male views or some extreme views but you'll get some voices of reason too.

What is he actually angry about? What does he think ChatGPT is? Are you using it to help you understand his messages or to just feel like you're being heard by someone, or a bit of both?

Also I'm so sorry you have no one to talk to about this, it makes me sad that you're having to resort to talking to an AI.

Thankyou Judge.. a bit of both.. I think it's more to be heard by someone or trying to figure out if I'm being over sensitive.. probably not the most reliable tool 😅 but it helps having somewhere to go when it gets bad..

i was showing him pics of the baby on my phone and he saw the screengrabs which I forgot were on there.. so I told him why..