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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fuck it - the government will look me

666 replies

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 09:05

I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the way our country is run. I love my country, but what on earth can I do to fix it? the Rachel reeves pension and stamp duty rumours have tipped me over the edge.

I believe 90% of our lives is the summation of our own choices. Bar (some of) our own (and families) health and tragic life events, there is very little we can’t choose in this country.

I’m not saying that the playing field is fair - I absolutely acknowledge that some groups face structural barriers that make good choices harder. Others are unaware those choices even exist. That’s where government should step in—not to equalise outcomes, but to equalise access to meaningful choice.

I think we all acknowledge that bad governments are ones that take away choices. This government, however is also taking away choice by incentivising bad choices. Policies should nudge people toward self-sufficiency, not make state reliance easier than self-reliance, or rewarding short-term decisions over long-term

Our Government should be working towards equitable availability of choice (not equal - see below) to make sure those choices are as easy and available to everyone. Policies should be in place to make sure people are encouraged to make the right choices.

I increasingly feel like I make the right choices and think what was the bloody point!

I’m going to wish I never paid into my pension soon and went on holiday instead! Should I just spend my money, move into a smaller house and quit my job. At this point I think I’d be better off.

Jargon Buster - EQUALITY - It’s assumed there is a level playing field and everyone gets the same resources. EQUITY - Everyone gets what they need to succeed, which may mean different levels of support.

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 09/11/2025 09:08

do you mean the government will look AFTER me

well i guess as long as you are ok that is what is important.

JacquesHarlow · 09/11/2025 09:08

I believe 90% of our lives is the summation of our own choices

Ha. 😃

Bagamama · 09/11/2025 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BMW6 · 09/11/2025 09:10

Can't make head nor tail of what OP is asking.

HellsBalls · 09/11/2025 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

There are definitely bots on here. If I have no activity do a couple of days, miraculously someone/thing will like an old post to tempt me back into the pond.

vivainsomnia · 09/11/2025 09:12

I agree with your sentiment but it's not an issue specific to the UK.

Haroldwilson · 09/11/2025 09:14

Any government that was in would be struggling. You need to either spend less or raise taxes. Neither is very palatable.

Try living off benefits and I think you'll soon see there is a point to working.

AmethystDeceiver · 09/11/2025 09:17

It's so hard to engage with murky arguments. I may or may not agree with you, but I need specifics to be sure. You're kind of all over the place.

Also - don't let rumours tip you over the edge. Wait for facts.

BigGirlBoxers · 09/11/2025 09:19

taking away choice by incentivising bad choices

That literally doesn't make sense. And regarding the distinction you make between equality and equity, that obviously does make sense. So much so that 'equality' in the sense that you define it is manifestly not the objective of this government. It wouldn't even be the objective of a genuinely left-wing Labour government, [edit for clarity:] which would aim as 'equity' in terms of your definitions. Only old school early-to-mid twentieth century socialism had an actual aim of equality.

This government doesn't actually act out of principles at all. It is just fire-fighting the crises generated by long-term economic decline, globalisation, global unrest, climate change, and its own institutional decay etc. So it is probably not helpful for you to frame your concerns in terms of political philosophies.

duckfordinner · 09/11/2025 09:21

Everyone is frustrated. There is nothing you could do at this stage , apart from cutting your losses. Minimise your exposure to this government decisions. At the moment, we are all hostages and have to comply. Wait till next GE.

DiscoBob · 09/11/2025 09:24

Lol. I didn't choose to have disabilities, to be broke, or to have been domestically abused, or raped, or have ADHD, or not be able to handle managing people, or to suffer from life threatening mental illness. I didn't choose to lose my father a month after my 13th birthday, or to have no siblings, or to have cousins who aren't remotely interested in me or my welfare.

I didn't choose to be financially controlled by the government either but the alternative would be starve to death and live outdoors.

Tamfs · 09/11/2025 09:27

Fuck me, I thought that posts instructing us to 'discuss' were bad, but now we are getting a glossary??

1apenny2apenny · 09/11/2025 09:36

I think OP has a point, enjoy your life, spend your money, work until you’re 70 then go on pension credit with housing paid and all the other benefits that come with that. Saving to have sufficient in your pension is very difficult and you are relying on the markets over which you have no control. Compared with public sector pensions and benefits claimants - guaranteed pensions and benefits (in some cases never having worked or only worked part time). I’m not talking about physically disabled people who need support here. Given there seems to be talk of those that work and hard save not even getting the state pension then why wouldn’t you just enjoy your life whilst you’re young?

thepariscrimefiles · 09/11/2025 09:50

Give it a go then OP. Leave your job and stop contributing to a pension.

I think that you'd need a few children with disabilities and a disability yourself to be better off not working than working and if you do fall into that category, I would imagine that your life would be very difficult indeed. A single unemployed person on benefits would lead a very frugal and miserable life with hardly enough money to buy even the cheapest basics.

You'd also then be part of the section of society that you despise and look down on.

PigletJohn · 09/11/2025 09:55

People who have never been poor like to claim that the poor have an easy and comfortable life.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:01

DiscoBob · 09/11/2025 09:24

Lol. I didn't choose to have disabilities, to be broke, or to have been domestically abused, or raped, or have ADHD, or not be able to handle managing people, or to suffer from life threatening mental illness. I didn't choose to lose my father a month after my 13th birthday, or to have no siblings, or to have cousins who aren't remotely interested in me or my welfare.

I didn't choose to be financially controlled by the government either but the alternative would be starve to death and live outdoors.

You are absolutely right. The health issues that I specifically call out were not choices. You didn’t choose anything with regard to your health.

With regard to your life though, were you given any other choices? Or was it easier for the government to out you on PIP or whatever else you are on. Were your choices very limited? Should your government have done more to give you more opportunity?

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:02

PigletJohn · 09/11/2025 09:55

People who have never been poor like to claim that the poor have an easy and comfortable life.

Not what I’m saying.

Im saying there should be equitable availability of choice. We have a government that isn’t providing or even trying to provide that

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:04

thepariscrimefiles · 09/11/2025 09:50

Give it a go then OP. Leave your job and stop contributing to a pension.

I think that you'd need a few children with disabilities and a disability yourself to be better off not working than working and if you do fall into that category, I would imagine that your life would be very difficult indeed. A single unemployed person on benefits would lead a very frugal and miserable life with hardly enough money to buy even the cheapest basics.

You'd also then be part of the section of society that you despise and look down on.

Thinking of leaving the country.

You miss my point. Where you do have health issues or your family do, the government should be giving you a fighting chance.

what I see right now is disabled people remaining in poverty with very little opportunity to get out of that position. Few choices.

OP posts:
YoureNotGoingOutLikeThat · 09/11/2025 10:07

1apenny2apenny · 09/11/2025 09:36

I think OP has a point, enjoy your life, spend your money, work until you’re 70 then go on pension credit with housing paid and all the other benefits that come with that. Saving to have sufficient in your pension is very difficult and you are relying on the markets over which you have no control. Compared with public sector pensions and benefits claimants - guaranteed pensions and benefits (in some cases never having worked or only worked part time). I’m not talking about physically disabled people who need support here. Given there seems to be talk of those that work and hard save not even getting the state pension then why wouldn’t you just enjoy your life whilst you’re young?

Housing benefit/UC and pension credit in old age is unlikely to give you any kind of comfortable retirement. Council owned properties are now far and few between and social housing landlords are filling the gap. Even slightly lower than market value rents are higher than the housing benefit element. In all likelihood, anyone without some kind of private pension will be living their old age in poverty (and for some that will mean no change if they earned so little they were reliant on in work benefits to pay the bills).

Public sector pensions are not as generous as they once were. I worked in the NHS for 10 years as a part time Band 2 Admin and my projected pension from there will be in the region of £140 per month. Before tax. (I read somewhere years ago that the mode of public sector pension was actually very low as the majority drawing it were women who had worked part time on low wages).

(EDIT for typo)

KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/11/2025 10:07

If you think being completely reliant on benefits and state support either now or in old age is a preferable arrangement to trying to make arrangements to look after yourself you are completely delusional. The insane cost of living these days doesnt only apply to working age average earners.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:08

BigGirlBoxers · 09/11/2025 09:19

taking away choice by incentivising bad choices

That literally doesn't make sense. And regarding the distinction you make between equality and equity, that obviously does make sense. So much so that 'equality' in the sense that you define it is manifestly not the objective of this government. It wouldn't even be the objective of a genuinely left-wing Labour government, [edit for clarity:] which would aim as 'equity' in terms of your definitions. Only old school early-to-mid twentieth century socialism had an actual aim of equality.

This government doesn't actually act out of principles at all. It is just fire-fighting the crises generated by long-term economic decline, globalisation, global unrest, climate change, and its own institutional decay etc. So it is probably not helpful for you to frame your concerns in terms of political philosophies.

Edited

Bad choice - poorly phrased.

An example - Feeling like you can’t retrain for a career that would benefit society because as soon as you go to university a ton of the money you are entitled to stops. Particularly infeasible if you’ve chosen to have your children already.
Therefore - there is no choice because your children would starve. Therefore the ‘bad choice’ of staying in the lower paid job or none at all is the only/ incentivised choice.

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:11

KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/11/2025 10:07

If you think being completely reliant on benefits and state support either now or in old age is a preferable arrangement to trying to make arrangements to look after yourself you are completely delusional. The insane cost of living these days doesnt only apply to working age average earners.

You’d be surprised how many people don’t know the difference between equity and equality.

Better to be clear - no?

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:12

KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/11/2025 10:07

If you think being completely reliant on benefits and state support either now or in old age is a preferable arrangement to trying to make arrangements to look after yourself you are completely delusional. The insane cost of living these days doesnt only apply to working age average earners.

I don’t. However, I predict that middle earners on modest incomes will be no better off than those that saved no pension at all.
it will be means tested, its very obvious that decision is coming our way.

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:14

BMW6 · 09/11/2025 09:10

Can't make head nor tail of what OP is asking.

Sorry about that. Not a politics expert - just an ordinary person.

TLDR - Am I unreasonable to be frustrated that our government isn’t supporting its electorate to make positive decisions.

OP posts:
FlayOtters · 09/11/2025 10:14

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 09/11/2025 10:04

Thinking of leaving the country.

You miss my point. Where you do have health issues or your family do, the government should be giving you a fighting chance.

what I see right now is disabled people remaining in poverty with very little opportunity to get out of that position. Few choices.

k, bye.