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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think my partner has psychosis :(?

22 replies

whattodo1113 · 09/11/2025 08:55

Partner but his ex partner since 2 months ago.
we have a 10 month old together.
(Don’t live together) was sorting that out but no way now.

i had to leave him as he has become very very abusive to me particularly verbally. Name calling. Threats etc.
if I showed you his messages and things he says and does to me you’d say he’s mentally ill 100%.
I never retaliate.

anyway…. I’ve had to stop him seeing our son which I don’t like to do. He’s not seen baby for 2 months because he was shouting down the phone he wants me to die and I need to drop dead. He’s said some awful stuff.
he says strange things like he makes up stories that never happened and bileaves it. I find him dangerous it’s like he’s not all there. I’m so worried and scared

example he messaged me saying can you remember when you told your mum to hang herself if a bridge?

and I know I’ve never and would never say that and I even told my mum and she was shocked. It’s stories in his head.

example - 7am in the morning he messages me telling me I’ve not recovered from my mental break down.
what mental break down? And good morning to you too.

last night he rang my phone at 9pm asking to speak to our 10 month old that can talk and who was obviously in bed. he was sluring his words a bit too. Like he sounds not all there.

last week he rang social services on me and told them I’m mentally ill with post natal depression ?? They rang me and said it sounded like a malicious call and closed it down.

this is just a few scenarios. May I also add when I met him he’d stopped smoking weed and he’s recently gone back on that to help him sleep apparently. I don’t like it but each to their own and I made it clear baby won’t be around him stoned etc or even smelling of it. It’s a no from me. And I’ve also witnessed him being in magic mushrooms which he says is for depression. Yeah right ok.

is he in a drug induced psychotic phase. Is he mentally not ok in general. What the hell do I do seriously.

he’s absolutely horrible. Calls me fat and ugly messages me all the time calling me a shit mum. Me stopping him seeing our son has made him even more angry but I’m NOT handing my baby over with his head and anger where it is. Just no no no.

I just don’t understand how he’s projecting onto me what he’s actually doing ? It doesn’t make any sense.

honestly when u was 9 months pregnant we was driving to a restaurant in the car and I had a really funny turn. I went really hot and sick and just horrible. I opened my window and told him how I felt and he flipped because he could feel cold air on his neck? Honestly just very weird weird behaviour.
he’s extremely paranoid and it’s like he’s out to make me look mad and crazy to the world. To my family but Ive actually backed away to protect me and my baby from his toxic ways.

we use to have to sleep in the dark in pure silence and I know this is normal but even if his cat licked himself or meowed he’d go mad at a slight noise and get agitated and therefore didn’t spend any nights with him either s baby crying u didn’t feel comfortable or safe

what do I do. Honestly when I met him he was amazing. We’ve had good times. We’ve laughed we’ve been to nice places. We’ve been in love. I just don’t know who he is anymore. It’s draining the life out of me.

OP posts:
whattodo1113 · 09/11/2025 09:00

Sorry for all my spelling mistakes I’m crying x

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 09/11/2025 09:05

I think that you should have a chat with the police about this (not reporting a crime, getting advice) - I'd be very concerned that he is in complete control of his senses but is maliciously trying to create a dossier of "evidence" that you are also an unfit parent (as revenge) through these text messages.

BigGirlBoxers · 09/11/2025 09:07

I don't think you need to torment yourself with trying to work out why he is behaving this way, or whether he is mentally ill. The behaviour itself is just unacceptable. I know the police may well not be as helpful as we would hope but it does sound like it is worth reporting his behaviour to the police.

Lots of love xxx

BMW6 · 09/11/2025 09:08

Police. Malicious calls and texts.

Cruisinforcroissant · 09/11/2025 09:10

Police and say you suspect severe mental health issues as they are one of the few routes to getting fast assistance for this in the NHS if they consider it serious or harming themselves or others

Whatatodo79 · 09/11/2025 09:12

Well i don't know if he's psychotic or just a deeply horrible scary man who is using alcohol and drugs as well. Absolutely keep your child away from him he is not safe to be around, and don't see him yourself. Have you got any of the threats on text? I would go to the police if i were you.

Keroppi · 09/11/2025 09:15

Yes, he sounds really unwell. I would contact the police and explain
If only to protect yourself from further malicious reports and potential harmful calls and communications to yiur family
You could ask for a welfare check if he keeps sending you rambling or strange phonecalls or messages
You have no contact with his family? If they're positive influences in his/your life then you could tell them you're concerned. If they're similar to him don't bother

I would get another phone. A cheapy. And a giffgaff 5 pound sim and have that be the number you give to him. Only check it sporadically if he is in phases like this

In terms of you questioning what's going on and wanting to understand - just stop and give up. His brain doesn't work the same. He's taking psychoactive drugs and isn't living a healthy life. Protect yourself and your son. Stop going over the past xx

Redburnett · 09/11/2025 09:17

I feel very sorry for you having to deal with this man for the next 18 years. I feel even more sorry for your DC having this man as a father.

NormasArse · 09/11/2025 09:20

Who the fuck thinks you’re being unreasonable??

Record every single thing he says to you.

He needs help, but you are NOT the person to do that; you have a child to safeguard.

I’d be thinking getting yourself to a place where he can’t get access to you.

Good luck.

whattodo1113 · 09/11/2025 09:22

Thanks everyone. Yes I have all the messages. All the threats. All the stories on messages that are not true. He’s given me all the evidence I need x

OP posts:
SpamNSmash · 09/11/2025 09:30

You are right to save messages. I would also advise keeping a diary/log of his behaviour.

Definitely contact the police and ask for advice. You can report him for the malicious and threatening messsges and behaviour, but I’d also ask them for some safety advice, as he sounds potentially dangerous.

Yes, he sounds unwell, but this isn’t an excuse for his abusive behaviour. Keep reminding yourself to of that.

Women’s Aid might also be able to offer advice.

JLou08 · 09/11/2025 09:37

Report to the police for harassment and threatening behaviour.
Contact the mental health team, you can go through 111 in my area for mental health, he needs a mental health assessment.
You do need to take these steps, firstly because he could pose a risk to you, your child and the general public. Secondly, you need this on record in case he tries to take your child. Having the evidence already recorded before that happens is more likely to ensure police/social services/courts make the right decision as quickly as possible.

DustyOwl · 09/11/2025 09:39

Yes, that sounds like drug induced psychosis. My ExP had that, he had given up weed, which he had previously smoked daily. When he started again he was a different person. It was terrifying. We were young and didn’t have kids. We went to the drs, he had moments of lucidity They gave him antidepressants, which he took all at once because his brain was “on fire”. He was intensely paranoid, abusive, he made up (and believed) terrifying scenarios.

I left. You can’t fix it, ExP did recover in the end but I think he was lucky.

Whatever the reason, your DP is not safe. It’s harder for you, with children involved but that makes it more urgent. Do not leave your kids with him. Limit contact. Call the police if you’re scared. His psychosis is real and you can’t fix it. I’m sorry to be brutal. He may recover but right now, deal with what’s in front of you. Keep safe. Weed is a horrible drug and very underestimated.

Hoardasurass · 09/11/2025 09:40

He's not psychotic hes and abusive male. Look up DARVO and gaslighting. These are common tactics used by abusive men.
He's trying to paint you as his crazy ex.
Please stay away from him and don't let him be alone with your dc as hes a risk to you both, abusers are at their most dangerous when their victim leaves. Its also very common for abusive men to ramp up their abuse during a woman's pregnancy and afterwards as they believe that they have you trapped.
Stay safe @whattodo1113

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 09/11/2025 09:43

He is abusive and you dont need to analyse him. Just jeep yourself and your baby far away from him. Report every abusive phone call to the police.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 09/11/2025 09:52

A family member had this due to smoking weed. He became extremely dangerous towards the end.

I think you need to get this man out of your life completely by any means necessary.

Olivetawny · 09/11/2025 10:33

I would be getting a solicitor to try to minimise your child's contact with this man.

Skybluepinky · 09/11/2025 10:36

Contact the police and let them deal with him.

Daleksatemyshed · 09/11/2025 11:36

He's taking all the bad things he done and trying to push them onto you Op, he's like a man whose having an affair and always accuses his wife of cheating. Take everything to the police and the social services, he's not safe for your DC

BelatrixLestrange · 09/11/2025 11:40

Honestly I would block him on everything and move on with my life. If the harassment continued (ie he changed his email and number to purposely continue the abuse) I would involve the police.

BelatrixLestrange · 09/11/2025 11:42

If he comes round, call the police. Keep all messages as evidence.

FateReset · 09/11/2025 11:46

He's being very abusive towards you. Take care of yourself and your son. Report him to police immediately and let them copy the evidence from your phone. Keep a log of any further contact.

Sounds like you need expert advice from officers and DV specialists.

Impossible to diagnose psychosis from afar, normally a team of mental health professionals diagnose psychosis from observing a person in a secure unit for 24 hours. Drug-induced mental illness is possible. But it's also likely he's contacting you when under the influence of substances! The slurring isn't typical of psychosis yet suggests intoxication. People often become delusional, paranoid, more abusive and 'scattered' in their communication when using psychoactive drugs.

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