Not Taking Sides

[Scottishlass10]

It’s not AIBU but just need to vent A group of us have been friends for a number of years meeting up as couples and also having ladies days out
and the men also having days out. One of the couples have sadly split up and are in the process of divorcing. Now the other wives have sided with the wife led
on by one of the other wives who can be quite forceful. I’ve refused to take sides as both of them said there was fault on both sides and I’m friends with both. My issue is I’ve now been removed from the ladies WhatsApp group as I refused to get drawn in to the anti husband rhetoric. I’m quite hurt tbh but I guess I just need to park it and move on. Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you negotiate it.

Have 1-1 conversations/ meet ups with the ones (wives or couples) who are less caught up in the drama, and don’t talk about the divorce or those who are tangled up in the drama?

They are showing loyalty to their friend and you are not. This is a highly emotional time.
Why is it so difficult for you to empathize with your friend.
Your refusal to get drawn into the anti husband rhetoric is equivalent to trivialising and belittling her experience, presumably you said you didnt see why it should affect you.

“If you’re not with me you’re against me.”

Why do you think you get the right to play Switzerland?

Unfortunately, in these situations you always end up having to choose.
Do it early, or you’ll end up completely isolated, both you and your DH.

@Pinkacer I have emphathy for them both and have made it clear how sorry I am that their marriage has broken down which I am. I have spoken to my friend privately and got her side of things. I’ve also spoken to her husband too and both have made it perfectly clear both were at fault. The only difference is her husband understands that I’m not going to take sides and respects that unlike his wife and the other wives. I’ve spoken to another wife and she too has been removed from the ladies group as she has also refused to take sides. I think I’m just too old to get involved in others drama.