For not wanting to exchange money at Christmas? And how do I word it.

[Wynndolynne]

Close family member has said they just want money for Xmas and they will just be giving money in retrun this year (we usually spend around £100)

AIBU to not want to bother? What is the point in giving and recieving the same amount? May as well just save the paper/cost of a money card and not bother. Theres no joy in it. No point at all?!

I agree. Absolutely pointless. It’s not worth it at all. I would prob joke about taking out the middle man and just not swapping the same amount of money to each other.

I'd make a joke of " we'd basically just be swapping money then?!" And suggest we meet for a lunch together in the new year instead

It's as stupid as adults buying each other presents. Just agree to not do any exchanges this Christmas.

Easy, just say sounds good but instead of swapping £100, you keep yours and I'll keep mine.

Ask for a specific gift.
Go for something low priced like a paperback novel if you worry it's going to sound "grabby or rude" (Some Mumsnetters think lists are that - I don't. I think it's sensible)

YANBU to think it is somewhat pointless.

Not sure why it is difficult though.
If you are giving each other £100 these people must be close to you.
As @QueenClinomania said - just say the words. It's not difficult.

I completely agree OP! I hate it when people have everything they want, and so ask for money. I'd far sooner they said, actually there's really nothing I need this year, so why don't we go for a meal, see a show, or doing something together that we both enjoy, and spend the money on that instead? The only people I will give money to, is teenagers, as I know they like to be able to go shopping, and chose things at the time, although I still prefer it if they send me a list of links to things they'd like, so that I can actually buy something to wrap up for them.

YANBU.
I'd just say what you've said here really. No point in handing money back and forth for the same amount, shall we not bother in the future and just go out for drinks/dinner/coffee/cinema instead?

I would just make a joke of it and say if we are just exchanging cash let's call it quits and buy ourselves waht we wanted instead.

Sorry I accidentally pressed youre being unreasonable.

Id suggest a small token gift worth £5 or £10 as you prefer of either sweets or something “so we have something to open on Christmas Day and we can just not bother wirh rhe money exchange, so what would you like? Chocs? Chews? Posh biscuits in a tin?”

If you are certain that you will be exchanging the same amount then just say “ok, let’s just stick to cards then this year as it will save me going to the cash point to withdraw and then back again to deposit”.

How much do they spend on you?

Sorry I accidentally pressed youre being unreasonable.

@TalulahJP - just so you know for future reference, you can just click on the other option if you do this, and it changes it

Dawn from the Office: 'I'm thinking of wrapping it this year ...'

We don’t do any adult gifts, just for the children. Kids do ask for money as it’s what they need. One relative insists on giving gifts. One year they got a kids game for a uni student. Pointless.

Are they struggling a bit financially?
They'd perhaps prefer a net break even than to have spent £100 and recieve £100 of unneeded gifts in return. If they break even then that money can go on a food shop or school shoes etc.

Spice things up a little by giving them half what they're giving you 😂

It does seem ludicrous to have money going back & forth. Perhaps you could suggest having lunch or dinner out instead.

Yes and send each other a photo of what you 'bought' each other, could be fun.

Total waste of time. We got to this stage a few years ago with the inlaws. Nothing screams festive more than swapping money between bank accounts, does it?

We just said we were stopping doing adult presents.

It’s pointless. We stopped adult presents. We have a secret Santa for whoever is at the table for Christmas lunch.

Thanks but that never works for me on the app.

It greys out the choice and that that.

I’ve tried numerous times in the past when I’ve dropped the phone or misunderstood the way the question was worded and realised later what an op actually meant…!