To think financial stability is the most underrated form of attractiveness?

[CalmCreditLynx]

Forget looks or charisma, peace of mind is the new sexy. AIBU to think people underestimate how much security shapes connection?

what makes you think it's underrated? Or have YOU just thought about it?

It had never crossed my mind. I just thought old ugly rich guys must all have amazing personalities.

I could be with a guy who’s got lots of money , generous and some similar interests to me - but he’s also an utter bore with no charisma or sense of humour . So no- for me financial stability doesn’t trump other things . I’d rather be skint than with a bore.

Maybe a bit of both. It just feels like people talk a lot about “spark” and “connection” but less about how much peace of mind affects attraction long-term.

I used to think DH was a bit tight because we lived well below out means but his financial sense has put us in such a good position, no mortgage, savings and the peace of mind it brings is the best thing ever. We can just enjoy our lives and we are able to buy what we need and want and pay for trips but we are very intentional with how we spend and prefer quality over quantity. So I do find this attractive and spendthrift behaviour is off putting.

Having said all that it is still a massive privilege to have the income in the first place to be able to do this and lots of people don't have the option to be financially stable due to being on such a low income with high outgoings for even the basics.

For some people the financial situation of a perspective partner is their only consideration. The majority have other attractions.

I think initially attraction trumps everything but stability for the longer term is important.

Many people have regrets marrying partners who are not financially stable. But it doesn't define a sexy person. Not being stable is a massive red flag. It would need a deal breaker for me in future.

Instability would be a deal breaker. I'm debt free (outside of morthage) and wouldn't entertain a partner who wasn't in the same position.

Work ethic first.

It's definitely attractive and nearly essential for long-term happiness, imo. I'd also say a can-do attitude and good sense of humour are more important than looks, though maybe that falls under charisma.

I’m not sure it’s underrated as such. But it’s not totally acceptable - someone might be judged for, for example, rejecting a date with a guy who’s poor, or if they said “well he was really nice but he doesn’t really have much in the way of career prospects, so there won’t be a second date”

Depends on the age of the person you are talking about.
H was useless before kids, earnt loads, spent loads, throw in a baby, oh my god it's pension, investments, paying off mortgage, funding uni.

I totally love him.

I choose my partners ( & eventually my dh ) in this order.

1. looks
2. personality
3. sense of humour
4. earning potential

we’ve been married 40 years 😃 and have done ok.

Oh course we have!.

And bigly too.

Depends what you mean OP. Do you mean they are affluent and can provide YOU with financial security in which case that's been an attractive quality to some gold diggers people forever. Or do you mean someone who is sensible and smart with money despite how much they have and has worked hard to earn what they have, in which case I'd agree that's attractive.

I think there is a difference between rich (or earning loads) and financial stability. You can earn a mid range amount and be financially prudent. Or you can earn shed loads and piss it all up the wall.

A few posters here say they don't need a rich partner- fine, I agree. But equally I don't want to find someone has remortgaged the house without telling me because of a gambling debt.

I value financial stability, because I am risk averse and want to know we can pay the mortgage next month.

It's not underrated at all. Richness in a man, underrated? One of the biggest complaints men make is being expected to pay for stuff.

I have to be physically attracted to someone.

But I wouldn't marry someone who didn't have similar aspirations to myself.

As this really. I’m the higher earner but my god has DH made our money work. I’m 48; we have no mortgage, own our cars and DC doesn’t have a student loan (has tuition fee loan). Often say DH is ‘tight as a tick’ but we have everything we need and a lot of what we want. We’ve never argued about money and I feel safe.

It’s important to me, so yes I find it attractive in others. When it comes as a package with good conversation, manners, curiosity and zest for life it’s a slam dunk.

You again, OP? Clickbait 101?

This is the second almost identical OP in two days.

Should find a rich man to pay for better content.