Constant disagreements about how much stuff dc should have

[ChloeLos]

Me and dp are constantly clashing over this. For context we live in a small house with not much space for storage.
We both decided to have a clear out recently and I got rid of what I considered a good amount of stuff. I donated 7 bags to charity and binned a further few. Dc have 2 storage tubs of toys/ teddies etc left and dp thinks this is too much. This is things they have said they want to keep and still play with.

With Christmas coming up dp said they don’t need any more toys and they have enough. They are still young ( under 10 ) so I feel like Christmas still includes toys at this age. Dp said we need to get rid of more stuff before any more can come into the house.

Who would you say is being unreasonable? My argument is that children are only young once and in a few years they will have outgrown the toys and it will be all tech and make up. Dp claims they are at that stage already even though they still play with toys.

If they want the things, they keep them. It's scary to have somebody take your stuff. DH and I also have this argument all the time. I think it's really important that children get to control that one tiny aspect of their lives since they have so little control everywhere else.

Does DH have stuff? A bike/xbox/gym equipment/books?

Maybe he should get rid of his stuff?

It doesn’t sound like yabu (depending on the size of the storage tubs). Can they keep some of their things in their room(s) so it doesn’t impact on the house as much?

I also live in a small house without much storage (no loft or garage, small rooms) and have a 4 yo and 13 yo and I’d say we have much more than that. We do need to get rid of some of it but it’s too tempting to save the 13 yo stuff for the 4 yo as there’s such a big age gap. I think probably have 8 plus average storage tubs including teddies (live in bedrooms), craft stuff, board games, Lego, gravitas marble runs, cars etc plus books (also live in bedrooms) on top. I have a big ikea kallax to keep toys in so as long as they fit in there or their bedrooms then it’s fine 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe you just need some nicer storage and agree the toys won’t overflow that?

He has very little so I feel a bit guilty to ask him to get rid of anything. I think this is where the problem comes from. Growing up he had minimal possessions and has continued this way. Whereas my mum was very reluctant to get rid of anything and I remember still having access to my baby toys when I was around 10!

As long as they're playing with the toys they kept then YANBU. And surely they can get some toys at Xmas without filling up the house.

Don't throw things away that they regularly play with - that’s so unfair. And of course they should get toys for Christmas, they’re little kids fgs. Maybe don’t go overboard if you’re lacking space but your DH is definitely being unreasonable here.

I am mid 60s and still remember how sad I was when my parents decided to "sort out" my toy cupboard and throw away things they thought I no longer needed. I felt very powerless and uncared for.

Please be careful not to do that to your children.

I live in a very small house and it's amazing where you can find storage when you need to - under beds, putting up shelves above head height and putting boxes up there, turning the stairs into storage - you can become very creative when you need to!

But your children are only young once and they want toys. Your DH is wrong (and sounds something of a minimalist with no understanding that other people don't think the same way).