Old friends and gifts, what to do?!

[Skiffy14]

I have a friend since my 20s, we were very close- each others bridesmaids etc. She is DS godmother but like many of these long term friendships, it has drifted now in we’re in our 40s. We don’t live close by and her situation is complicated with younger kids, ill parents etc. Over the years the contact from her has become minimal - a few messages here and there and a phone call once or twice a year, always instigated by me. She has snubbed my birthdays for a few years now now and her attendance at our common friendship group events is now once a year at best, the latest no show being a close friends wedding, leading to lots of upset. However the one thing she still does is gifts. We have a long standing gifting arrangement, buying gifts for each others birthdays, usually £20 gift card, and each others kids birthdays and Xmas, £10 - £15 value, for years. As I barely know anything about her kids likes and dislikes anymore and she shows no interest in mine; I just feel like this isn’t appropriate anymore and we should stop. AIBU?

Sounds like she’s going through a hard time.. you don’t need the gifts but don’t give up on her x

I'd stop the gifts, I might send a card from the family wishing them all well but I wouldn't bother with a gift

I think you need to at least message and ask are we doing presents this year

Perhaps she just has a lot on her plate? You’re obviously in her thoughts to do gifts. I’d go with book tokens or vouchers if you don’t know the kids that well but in a way this is keeping the lines of communication open and a nice thing to do.

Just message and say you are cutting back / suggest a meet up instead

I agree with @Nelly44 and @Sohelpmegod25 .

She is an old friend, and she is trying. Don't give up on her.
I was so grateful that my old friends didn't give up on me when I, for several different reasons, was less active in our friendships for a while.