I feel like my employer regrets letting me go from full to part time…

[justagalaskingaquestion]

I’ve been at my company now for almost 10 years. I don’t absolutely love my job like most people, but I don’t mind it at all and it pays the bills.

I had my DC2 and decided it was time for me to go down to part time after my maternity leave.

At my original back to work meeting my employer were very hesitant to me returning part-time to which I understood, but I got an email afterwards to say that all was agreed. I work three days a week Wednesday to Friday.

I’ve been part time now for nearly 5 months and I feel like my employer are always asking me to do extra days. I have been flexible when possible and have worked full-time temporary for a few weeks when one of my colleagues were away.

At lunchtime today, my manager asked me if I can work Mondays now for the next three or four weeks as she is not going to be in the office and needs extra manpower. I said I couldn’t do this Monday it’s too short notice but would consider the others.

The thing is, I really do not want to take these on. I know it’s not unreasonable for them to ask me, but I feel like it’s all the time. My manager is a lovely woman, she doesn’t have children herself. I’m not sure if that makes any difference but sometimes she doesn’t understand that I don’t want to be apart from my children more than agreed. And that’s the reason that I went part-time.

my child is in nursery three days a week and I’m very lucky to have my mother-in-law and Mum on standby if I ever take one extra days or school holidays. I think my manager knows this which is why she always thinks I can work extra days at the drop of a hat.

If it doesn't work for them, then they shouldn't have agreed it. Or they could have offered to do it on a trial basis initially.

Don't feel obliged to take on extra hours that you don't want to do. But do be aware that they might eventually decide to make your role redundant if the PT thing really isn't working for you.

Could you suggest that they consider recruiting a job share?

Yanbu.
But yabu that you are not having that conversation with her.
You asked because you needed it.
You were approved.
You cannot mess with your very obliging MIL.

You cannot do extra days unless it is a complete and utter emergency.

This is a shit manager issue.
Address it.

At the return to work meeting, they did mention a job share. But nothing came of it. When my colleague was away for three weeks, they said it was good having me back full-time. I said I couldn’t work full-time but did they think about the job share? Nothing was said.

I just feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes because although I do say yes, half the time I am also having to say no.

It’s like working five days a week and being asked to come on a Saturday and Sunday on a regular basis

I don’t know whether to bring it up myself, but I feel like it’s not working for them, but they haven’t said anything to me

Oh the condescending she doesn’t have children so couldn’t possible understand 🙄

Although she is my manager and was hesitant about the part-time the powers above her must’ve considered it, which is why I got an email from them to say my hours were accepted

I have a feeling she wasn’t best pleased but they probably overrode her

Please don’t start all of that, before I had children, I didn’t know what involved when it came to childcare and juggling Mum life with work life. That’s not to say that parents are more busy than others because I’m sure there are millions out there more busy than me.

She asks me questions like can the nursery swap days around and stuff like that? Obviously I know that they can’t because nursery days are set in stone when you apply. That’s all I’m saying.

The thing is while you continue to plug the gaps there's no incentive for your manager to recruit to a job share and all that would involve. Except in dire circumstances you need to say no.

You need to speak to her. Maybe ask if there is still a plan to recruit for the job share and what progress has been made on this, because while you've been able to provide some additional cover in the short term, the current situation isn't sustainable.

You need to take a hard line and say no every single time. At the moment they think you are happy to be flexible, so keep asking you. You'll never get a job share.
"Sorry, nursery days are Weds - Fri, maybe we really need to put that advert out for a jobshare". Every time, they'll soon get the message.

it’s always a way isn’t it? You try and be somewhat flexible but then it’s almost expected of you

If you keep saying yes, she'll keep asking.
Say no. Each time, say no. Tell you haven't got the childcare.
If you sometimes say yes, then it looks like actually, you do have childcare.
In your position, you shouldn't be pulling favours from family to deal with your employers emergencies, you should be keeping them in hand for your own. You'll need some babysitting days in hand for times when the baby is sick.
You'll be doing your employer a favour by being consistent: if you keep saying no, they'll get the message eventually, and will have to arrange proper cover.
And remember, this is not your problem to solve.

I understand exactly what you’re saying. Both of our Mum’s said they were always happy to do the extra day here and there because I did think my boss was going to turn around and say I could only do four days not three. In a way, I know they don’t mind taking on a day here and there with DC but they have their own lives and although very able, they are both in their 60s. And like you say, she should really be there only for babysitting on the odd date night or birthday.

I was only back about a month before they asked me to cover three weeks of full-time leave for my colleague and to make a good impression I said yes. Now it’s nearly every week that they ask!

my husband picked me up earlier from the station and said the exact same thing that this isn’t my problem to solve