I'm in the process of getting divorced. I moved out a few months ago, and I'm staying with a relative. My ex is still in the family home with our teenage children, whom I see most days. I'm still paying the mortgage and all the bills, because my ex is self-employed and her business doesn't make a profit.
The proposal currently on the table is that I buy out her share of the house, so that she gets roughly two thirds of the equity (about £180k), that we split the other assets equally, and that I pay her about £1k a month until the children have left home. I would keep the family home, but with an increased mortgage, and I would not have much spare at the end of each month.
I'm reasonably confident that if we ended up in court this would be deemed to "meet her needs", because there are no objective reasons why she couldn't get a job, and they look at potential rather than actual earnings.
The trouble is, she wouldn't be happy working for someone else, because she can't abide not being in charge. So if I were to insist that she take her share of the equity and move out, she would be miserable. More importantly, the children would be spending half their time with an unhappy mum.
The alternative is that we carry on with the current living arrangements until one of us gets some money from somewhere.
She initiated the breakup, and she did so knowing what our financial position was. Some days I think this means she's made her bed and should lie in it. Other days I think I must have been a truly awful husband for her to choose this path.
Is my proposal unreasonable?