How do you control the chaos with toddlers?!

[Bearbookagainandagain]

We've got 2 toddlers (2.5 and nearly 4). I know their behaviour is totally normal for their age, but OMG sometimes I just need them to stop!

Stop the noise, the chasing each other around the house, the roaring like dinosaurs or lions, and the inevitable bickering and crying that comes along with it when one of them has hit a wall or decided they didn't want to be climbed on anymore...
Recently it's been every single evening from the minute they get home, and often hours at times on weekends. They've just spent 2h chasing each other and screaming until it was time for nursery.

A lot of those games seemed very innocent and funny a year or so ago, but the bigger they get the more destructive and loud they get too!

I feel really bad for the neighbours because it can start as early as 7 in the morning (they wake up between 5 and 6).

They will not listen when asked to stop (obviously), get really upset if physically forced to stop, and even if we manage to neutralise one the other will come to distract them again 5 min later.
We do send them to the step or their room etc when they are pushing boundaries, but I don't want to punish them for playing!

They do have some quiet times where they play nicely with their legos, play kitchen, or just disappear for an hour in their room, and when we do games and arts and crafts with them on weekends. They are also really good on their own if we take one out for an activity.

I know it's normal, I'm not worried about that, but having 2 with the same level of energy means I think we just reach a completely different level of chaos than a "normal" household!

My husband and I do end up shouting a lot, knowing very well it won't change anything but we've just had enough!

Often the only solution to get a bit of a break is to turn on the TV, which we really don't like, particularly in the evenings.

What are your tips to manage these situations? How do we keep them separate when they are so still quite young and they is often only 1 of us at home?

Ha, you don't control the toddler chaos, the toddler chaos controls you 🤣

The best thing is distraction and physical activity. Get them outside - do you walk to nursery? Do they have scooters or balance bikes they can go on? That would take up time.

Do they do chores? I don't mean anything excessive obviously but little kids love having their own jobs to do, they could get stars on a star chart for it - gives them a distraction and something else to focus on.

I also like setting up games where they have to work together like e.g. we have coloured balls (the plastic ball pit kind) and they each get a spatula or something and they have to work together to get all the balls in the basket. Or make a duplo tower that's bigger than Mummy, or rescue all the toy dinosaurs I've taped to the floors/cupboards, etc etc. Obviously I don't do this all the time but again it's a good distraction.

Loads of praise/rewards for kindness, being good siblings, sharing, patience, etc etc. And all the chocolate for you at the end of the day. 🤣

Any time I've spent with more than one toddler left me with a headache. So I have a huge gap between mine. Can't be doing with overstimulation or sleep deprivation. Stress is aging.

Your toddlers are developmentally in two different stages so they are meeting each other at their common level; mania.

The older one might benefit from responsibilities and a behaviour board.

The younger one might benefit from ringfenced 1-on-1 parent time without the sibling.

Is this a possibility for you?

Toddler parenting is awful, I’m in the same situation. I’m sorry.

What are they doing that is wrong? This sounds like normal behaviour. Unless they are fighting, snatching or hurting each other then let them play.

Boarding school.

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You say "when they get home" is this after every outing or just after certain activities?
I remember that behaviour when mine were that age ( boys two years apart). You can limit it by channeling it to some extent , they need to run off some more energy outdoors, direct it into vigorous games which you manage while preparing dinner or whatever. Put music on and get them hopping backwards or wriggling like worms, or walking like a lion - that kind of thing.
For quieter play that was the age of role playing games. Daddy's and babies or schools or nurses and doctors, that kind of thing.

I have twins this age and an older one so I’m not speaking from the lofty heights and tbh I think this is likely to be a parenting issue. You need to find an appropriate way to enforce boundaries. You need enough structure to the day so that they have an outlet for running and physical play that doesn’t end badly for them. You need to give them age-appropriate tasks that start to foster a sense of responsibility so that they are one team rather than turning on each other.

You don't stay home...

They've just spent 2h chasing each other and screaming until it was time for nursery. were they indoors all that time? Freshly up and ready to go, full of energy? Can't think of anything worst than being home!

Get up, open windows, put a load of laundry, breakfast and emptying the dishwasher. Put a load of laundry, take them upstairs, make bed, get dressed, pack stuff.

Go out to make them run energy! If you had a dog (you might have one) you would take them for a walk, so what's the difference with kids? In term of energy I mean.

Then pop home or if you have the luxury, nursery.

When you have them, take them home for lunch most days, they can play. If they nap, that gives you time to do a bit of work. Then out for the rest of the afternoon!

Come home, make diner, bath, cool down playing nicely in their bedroom, then bed.

Wizz round the house to tidy up everything, fold laundry if you haven't had a chance. Sit down with a glass of wine 😂

You can only survive with toddlers when they spend energy and are out. I did anyway. That's why holidays are always my favourite part from birth, so many distractions,

Get outside first thing whatever the weather! Probably not your garden if its 6am.