Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is BU? Me or ex?

7 replies

hannahp4 · 07/11/2025 08:37

Ex and I share a ds12 who plays football quite competitively and often has games in far flung places. Ds goes to his dads EOW so I’ll take him to games on my weekend and vice versa. Last night game was pencilled in at a venue about 1.5 hours drive away with a 6 pm kick off. I’m not very confident at driving long distance in the dark so my Dh generously offered to take him. All good. Ds was happy with it and I think occasionally it’s nice for them to have a bit of time together and for Dh to watch his games as it’s usually me who takes him while he stays home with our younger dc.

My ex messaged this morning asking how it went and when I mentioned Dh took him he seemed quite put out. Lots of ‘well I could have taken him if you’d asked’ type comments. But it was my contact time and my responsibility to facilitate it. I genuinely didn’t think it would be an issue.

It’s not the first time he has shown a bit of low key jealously about dh and ds. Which seems stupid to me as I’m completely in favour of ds having a good relationship with his stepmum and have never passed comment on how they manage their time and childcare when he’s at his house.

To add, Dh and I have been together nearly 10 years so it’s not like he’s some random new boyfriend.

YANBU - ex is being silly and should mind his own business.
YABU - it was your job to take him or you should have asked ex.

OP posts:
MrsPerfect12 · 07/11/2025 08:39

If he wanted to do it he should’ve offered to take him…..

hannahp4 · 07/11/2025 08:42

MrsPerfect12 · 07/11/2025 08:39

If he wanted to do it he should’ve offered to take him…..

He didn’t want to. He just apparently didn’t want Dh to do it. No idea why. Everyone gets along and there is no animosity between them.

OP posts:
Myfridgeiscool · 07/11/2025 08:42

Your ex clearly knew about the game, he could have offered to take him if he wanted to see the match.

Myfridgeiscool · 07/11/2025 08:43

hannahp4 · 07/11/2025 08:42

He didn’t want to. He just apparently didn’t want Dh to do it. No idea why. Everyone gets along and there is no animosity between them.

Your ex is being a dick.

HoskinsChoice · 07/11/2025 08:52

If you've got a decent relationship with him, don't let this be a big thing. Just say ok and that you'll ask him next time. If your son is having limited time with his dad, it would actually be a good thing for him to spend more time with him. I don't think your ex is right to be pissed off but I do think he's got a point that he could take him.

ButtonMushrooms · 07/11/2025 08:56

It's absolutely fine for your DH to take him and you've done nothing wrong, but I also think it's nice that ex wants to take him to this kind of thing - lots of exes on here wouldn't be interested! So I would send a conciliatory reply.

hannahp4 · 07/11/2025 09:32

ButtonMushrooms · 07/11/2025 08:56

It's absolutely fine for your DH to take him and you've done nothing wrong, but I also think it's nice that ex wants to take him to this kind of thing - lots of exes on here wouldn't be interested! So I would send a conciliatory reply.

I agree however I don’t think on this occasion it’s about him spending more time with him as we wouldn’t even be having this chat if it had been me who took him. He just seems pissed off that dh did it.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page