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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel like I'm not enough

3 replies

Amzxo94 · 07/11/2025 02:01

I've recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so im in pain most days some worse than others. On top of this I also suffer with quite severe anxiety.
My partner works 5 days a week, and we have an 18month old little girl, I am not working at the moment and my daughter is at home with me all day every day. I try my hardest to take her out through the week, sometimes I can, other days my health issues will get in the way of that. But I will always make the effort to play with her.
Whenever my partner gets home, we will have a very brief conversation, and then he will slump on the sofa and scroll his phone. We do share the cooking duties, i do all the cleaning, but when it comes to our daughter, he hardly plays with her or talks to her as he will constantly be glued to his phone. Usually while I am trying to play or talk to little one, or making her dinner, help her with eating whenshe needs it, etc.
Tonight im laying in bed and he turns to me telling me he thinks im bored of him, which im not. Im exhausted and in pain every day. The only thing he tries to initiate is sex which im mostly not in the mood for after we havent even had a conversationall day, and will walk around saying 'poor me' most of the day even after I expressed my feelings on that too.
I just feel like my health and my mood are causing me to be a shit partner and a shit mum in some ways and I never feel like im doing enough.

OP posts:
Wethers121 · 07/11/2025 02:05

I don’t feel like you sounds like you’re a shit mum or partner, it it sounds like he is a shit Dad and partner OP. Can you speak to him about how you feel?

i also think some men don’t realise that for women we need intimacy in other ways (like conversation, general care and attention room) to get us in the mood for sex. He might need reminding of this too.

Gottocopebymyself · 07/11/2025 02:24

It's not you that's the shit partner OP.

You are working very hard to be a good mother to your little girl, despite your health issues.

Your partner doesn't even try to be a good dad.
And he isn't interested in even talking to you, he'd rather look at his phone. And yet expects you to provide him with sex.

Please don't blame yourself.

Have you tried talking to him about being a more involved parent with his child? And how he should be taking on more of the household tasks?

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 07/11/2025 05:38

Aren’t you bored of him? He does sound really really boring.

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