To think if DH says he's going to supermarket after picking up DS from school at 3.15...

[WilfSell]

...and then comes in at 7.20, it is perfectly acceptable for me to be a bit pissed off and say so?

He just lost it with me because I decided to say I would have appreciated a phonecall and wondered at what point I should start to worry. Because he'd done the shopping I was being ungrateful blah blah...

Hmm. If I go out near teatime or bedtime (we have two younger kids, one of whom needed BF and cuddling to sleep, the other - 3 - basically had to sit in front of the TV with a bowl of cereal while I did this) then I wouldn't take 3.5-4 hours, whatever I was buying and whichever kid I have in tow. And if it did look like I was going to be that long, I'd either call or be VERY apologetic when I got back. From the bleeding supermarket. How hard can it be?

Where has he been? It just doesn't take that long to do a shop. YANBU.

YANBUAA! YDHIBVU.

oh i'm fairly sure he was at the shops. but doodling around looking at the electronics at the giant tesco and nipping off to buy a toy for the little one and looking for a birthday pressie for me. None of which I am cross about though he wants to make me out to be ungrateful blah blah. I think he could have done these things at a different time and/or rung me to let me know he was gonna be a bit later than I might expect...

But the doodling around and taking ages is typical of him, namely not really thinking about what the kids need at this time of day and not thinking about me being somewhat lumbered with two little ones, who require individual attention at bedtime.

Sounds all too familiar - men have a genetic disposition to time space continuum....

Not into male bashing per se but my DP drives me bonkers - he finishes work at 4pm (after a 7.30am start) but I will often get home at 6pm to find him not home - he's come home had a bath (luxury) had a fag & cup of coffee or two and then picked the kids up from the CM at 5.30pm - had a game of badminton in their garden whatever... and wonders why I'm stressed about their tea/bath/bedtime.

My suggestion would be revenge.... can you go out and leave him lumbered to get a flavour of it ?

Pippy

I know and I think it is wonderful - to be able to say i'll be home in half an hour - and really mean to be home in that time - and just find an hour has said by and still not got my arse into gear and got home!!!

OH nonononono, YA Definitely NBU!

DH, wonderful man that he is, just doesn't think to ring me occasionally, and then gets the hump when I have a gogently remind him of this (as he's usually been doing something useful.)

Of course, the one time I could have done with him not ringing me was the time he rung me just before midnight to say "I'll be late, one of my colleagues has just had a gun shoved in his face".

Guess who didn't sleep that night?

Hmmm - some people would say you're pretty lucky your DH is around to pick up the kid from school at 3.15 and then do the shopping... a lot of dads (and mums) are at work at that time!
TBH it sounds like he probably had a lovely time pottering about with his son. Couldn't you have phoned him if you were worried?

(as well as the poor sod who had the gun in his face).

Yes, but then you get accused of nagging findtheriver.

Ha ring him - do you think there would have been an accurate time given?

Oooo you have a man who goes to teh supermarket AND takes a kid along

lucky you, even though you´re not feeling so lucky.

Why did you not call him? Why were you just waiting for him to call you? You were just getting yourself wound up.

YABa bit U

I was getting wound up, 'tis true. The 3 year old bit the baby on the ear and the baby screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamed the house down for half an hour and needed lots of BF to settle down. Which blew my plans to sit them both down together at the table playing happily while I chucked together some pasta. So 3 year old was sat on his own and hungry while I got a distressed, tired baby in bed...

I agree a bit U to be peed off that he was off and picking up and shopping but FWIW I did try to ring him but surprise, surprise, as ever, his phone was switched off. He never ever has it on, even when I remind him to. It was more about the 4 hours with no contact at a time when he ought to have known it was gonna kick off at home (it always does)

yanbu, but tescos extras are very exciting places for a lot of men, especially if they don't get to them very often. if your dh does the shopping all the time anyway, then definitely yanbu

Sounds like my dh. If he goes to Tesco Superstore, that is a one day event. No point even trying to pretend we can both get groceries and do something else that day. If I am there, I know I will spend a considerable amount of time with a book in the shitty caff eating flapjacks and having sweet milky coffee (as the staff dont seem to get black no sugar).

If he goes with the kids, I heave a sigh of relief. ensure the kids are fed before they go, and I dont expect him home till nearly their bed time.

So YABU, in that you should know your DH better....

I've got the answer wilf!

Teach the children to ring you instead!

DH was out with DS2 all day yesterday - and DS2 rang me mid-morning. Was such a shock, lol.

No call later though to give me a clue as to what time he'd get home (I had to ring him). Needn't have bothered though - should have known he'd walk through the door in time for the footie (which he did!)

why didn't you ring him?

I see you did