Finding my three year extremely difficult. I don’t know what to do

[Blessedone1111]

my daughter has always been very energetic and strong willed but as she gets older I’m really struggling to parent her.

she’s very independent but will get super angry when she can’t do something. Even after she can’t do it she won’t allow me to help and she will just screaming and rage. She is constantly full of energy running rings around me and demanding everything. I’ve tried so many tactics she won’t stop and calm down.

Im already hanging on a thread and exhausted I have no idea what to do. Family will say things about her character but she has always been like that just when she was younger it was easier to handle. I don’t want her to be misunderstood or for this to get worse through school years.

Any tips of experience of this ?

No advice but I empathise. My almost 3 year old is like this. It's exhausting.

Solidarity. Sending DH to pick up my 5yo from school today because I cba with the whinging and shouting. I don’t understand where all the anger comes from; it’s exhausting.

Hi OP - how is her understanding? If it’s pretty good then try reading these with her (‘Behaviour Matters’ book collection)

I also have a strong willed 4 year old and these have helped. Also maybe introduce a ‘sand timer’ to try and build up her patience and encourage her to wait/ try something again soon? I also bought some games to play together at home that focuses on ‘turntaking’ I sometimes deliberately rig the game so my son loses (as he used to have meltdowns when he didn’t win) and then I will assure him ‘it’s okay to lose, sometimes we lose and sometimes we win, we can play again tomorrow?’ - he has gotten much better with this now.

https://www.axelbooks.com/products/sue-graves-behaviour-matters-collection-4-books-set-croc-needs-to-wait-rhino-learns-to-be-polite-cheetah-learns-to-play-nicely-turtle-comes-out-of-her-shell?variant=41743440511151&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google%2Bshopping&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18725986282&gclid=Cj0KCQiAq7HIBhDoARIsAOATDxCsAwt_9dkDchyvnUXt3Nk5GOh35BQYlcvMO_SkgNAi4q1Bb_xS118aAtgkEALw_wcB

@TheTwitcher11 thank you so much I’m gonna try this !

@Lyra87 @RomeoRivers I was starting to think it was only my child. It feels like it’s never going to end

My kids just like this, just turned four. As you describe but with a lot of biting and hitting too. Behaviour matters is a good series. Dr Becky’s podcast is also worth a listen.

My advice is look for the triggers… is it transitions, tired, hungry, ill etc. Is there some additional need that needs to be met? We found that regular nursery wasn’t helping and applied for a resourced place at a more specialist nursery school and the help our kid has received through that has been transformative. If that isn’t an option though just loads around recognising and understanding their emotions, connection when they are disregulated rather than punishment, all the patience in the world (I know it’s so hard!) and time.

Hang in there!