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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Postpartum relationship/ parenting

1 reply

marudersmap · 06/11/2025 14:47

I’m 8 weeks postpartum with my beautiful baby. It’s wonderful but also harder than I ever imagined. I’m recovering from c section and my life has changed overnight as I’m a now a SAHM with no formal plans to return to work (I’m freelance). I’m struggling with all the usual PP things like breastfeeding, sleep, feeling loss of identity etc. I have a history of depression so I have to be very on it with my mood and coping mechanisms.

All my energy is focused on baby and keeping on top of my mood which I’ve being doing successfully. The issue is that since DH has returned to work we have been arguing constantly. He feels pulled between two places and very overwhelmed. The issue is that I’m also overwhelmed and despite trying to support him he is very moody and it’s getting me down. When he is home he responds badly to any of my suggestions ie. I think baby needs a coat if you are going outside.. he feels I’m criticising his parenting. I’m not great at just riding things out, I like to find solutions. He is just so stressed and snappy all the time. I know it’s a big change for him too, But I can’t help but feel like deep down I’m going through the most change and I find it difficult to be there for him, baby and myself. Any words of wisdom would be welcome.

OP posts:
Lilyowl · 06/11/2025 15:31

Relationships stress is very normal after having a baby. It is a huge adjustment for each of you and for your relationship together. Firstly, give yourselves some time. Having a baby takes some time to get used to.

I get very anxious about my baby's care for about 6 months after they're born every time. There's a lot to be anxious about...you worry about they're head and if they can breath, you worry about their body temperature and if they're too cold or overheating.

Maybe with the coat thing can you try making it about how you feel so "is it okay if I put a coat on her, I get worried about her body temperature" so that he doesn't feel like he's being corrected or criticised.

I appreciate it's very stressful when you've just had a baby and it's all hands on deck and a lot of sacrificing your own needs from both parents. Maybe ask him how you can help, ask him what he needs.

Your needs are also important too.

Babies do get easier as time goes on. Sorry it is stressful for you at the moment.

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