AIBU or is this ok for birthday gift contribution?

[Lilifer]

I’m going to a 60th birthday party in Dublin next week. I’m taking my DS who is 23. There will be food and a free bar. How much should I contribute to the birthday gift pot? I’m paying for flight and hotel so it’s going to be a costly weekend anyway but I do want to contribute to gift fund as very good friends with the birthday girl.

Is €150 fair contribution to 60th pressie fund or AIBU?

Absolutely enough or even more than generous!

Ireland has a culture of large monetary gifts for weddings but not such much for wedding anniversaries.

I'm Irish living in Ireland. That is an extremely generous kind gift.

Thanks @DoYouReallyyes I have heard that so I want to make sure I get it right and don’t find that everyone else has been putting in like €200 or €300!!

Oh good thank you @HarryPottersSecretSister🙏

I think that's far too much to be honest. 50 euros more than enough especially given the fact it's a communal gift

It sounds generous. I wouldn't give less than 50€ per person, but from 100€ for the both of you, it's a nice gift.

Apologies, I misread it as a 60th wedding anniversary (no idea how!), and wish to revise my answer.

IIt's absolutely crazy money for a 60th birthday! A nice bottle of wine or even champagne is more than enough!

Max €100. Honestly absolute max of €100 between you both.

Oh right ok - I will rethink this and maybe take it down a bit thanks all 🙌🏻

Very generous. I think 100 is fine.

can I ask what difference does it make?

Same settings, same party, same people, celebrating an event.
Why do you give more to one than the other? What's the difference between a birthday and an anniversary? If nothing else, I would be tempted to give more for the birthday.

Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Weddings tend to be the event where large momentary gifts are normal.

There aren't many people who get to celebrate 60 years married so it's a big celebration.

Most people live till at least 60 so you would be bankrupted if you spend on all of them!

That is an insane amount to be thinking of giving.

If you were traveling to my 60th, I would tell you to bring nothing but yourselves.

If I were traveling to someone else's 60th I would take them a bottle of wine, or maybe get something like a postal cream tea to their address for a different date.

So definitely under 20 Euros.

I think €50 is fine since it's costing you to travel.

Well it’s also becasue they’re hosting it in a hotel with around 80-90 people so it’s kind of a big deal as well, so I was kind of thinking it’s a bit like a wedding really and hence the amount being more than if it was a house party

But the 'tradition' of getting something a bit more for a wedding is not because it is held in a hotel, it is because you want to support a young couple setting up their first home / new life together. I know not always the case, but that is where the tradition comes from.

I held a big party in a function room for my 60th and specifically asked people NOT to bring presents. I wanted to see them, spend time with them, have a dance and a chat, and generally get people together.

My DP is Irish ,and I've just read this thread aloud and this is the reply: "€150 is very feckin generous, would ye not put 50 or 75 in and not show anyone else up like?"

🤣

I’d put in £20!

I like to 'cover my plate' so I'd put in what a meal out, with alcohol would cost me, then anything I could afford on top. It would be around your first suggestion.

I'm Irish and honestly for a 60th, we'd do €60.. €150 way too much