Why is everyone so easily offended these days?

[coldiris]

My saga with the uncertified electrical work in the kitchen continues (thanks again to all those who kindly replied to my previous thread about this).

The fitter referred me to a certified electrician he knows to certify his work. So having been burnt once I decided to ask this guy for his registration number to check that he is qualified/registered to do the work that he is going to do. I then asked him few more questions about what happens if some work can't be certified because it wasn't properly done. I think he got offended by my questions and said, "Do you want us to come out or not?"

It probably did feel like too many questions, and I did explain the situation to him but that aside, why do people get offended by this type of questions? Is it not normal for the customer to ask any questions about the service they are going to pay for?

As a business owner, it’s because it’s not worth our time if a client appears difficult. There’s a level of fair questions then there’s being difficult. We have more than enough clients so can be choosy. It’s not about being offended.

I dont know, but if people are easily offended, Id rather not talk to them, they're exhausting.

I do understand there is a choice for businesses whether to take work or not but is it really that unreasonable for the customer to ask for the registration number of a professional who is meant to be certified and ask about what their service involves. For example, I asked what happens if the fitter's work can't be certified and if it can't be, would they be able to do re-testing after any remedial work is completed. I honestly see those as legitimate questions that as a customer one would wish to ask. Is not being difficult = not asking any questions besides "when can you come out?"

I've never heard of apprenticeships in the trades containing a customer service module, put it that way. He was rude (I wouldn't say "offended", and I wouldn't say it's getting worse).

(Speaking as someone who was silently mouthing "fuck off" to someone who phoned me unexpectedly at 8.30am yesterday to hum and haw about a job I may or may not be doing her and ask me to alter the written quote she requested for the third time 😆)

You need to sniff out the awkward, the time wasters and the ones who are likely to quibble their bill. If the job is only a couple of hours work, it's often not worth the hassle if the customer is giving off difficult vibes.

I don't actually have any objections to his bill. This definitely wasn't one of the questions but, yes, the certification is just generally 1.5 - 2 hrs max depending on the issues they may find. I guess it's just unfortunate for me that I've been burnt by an uncertified electrician doing the work and now I have all those questions 😒

I've owned houses for about 20 years now and have never asked any tradesman one of those questions.
It doesn't sound like he was offended, just asking you if you actually want them to do the job.
Tradesmen are in such high demand they can pick and choose whatever jobs they want.

Why do you assume he was offended?

From a business POV, he was spending a lot of time answering your questions (for free) and there was no guarantee you were going to use his services so he probably didn’t want to waste anymore of his time on you.

It’s not his fault you’ve had issues in the past and it’s not his job to spend ages reassuring you, especially when he’s not guaranteed to actually get any work from you.

I’ve been running my business for six years and you soon learn to weed out the customers who are going to make your life difficult, and honestly, someone who asks tons of questions and makes it clear they don’t trust you is a huge red flag.

Asking for qualifications is fair and normal but the rest of your questions smells of awkward customer!

You are feeling understandably cautious, having been burnt recently, and he was feeling understandably over-scrutinised by a potential customer so was understandably pushing back to regain his equal footing.

No-one was in the wrong. And it doesn’t mean everyone is easily offended these days.

It sounds like you’re still stressed and you’ll regain your sense of balance once you’ve had chance to recover from the stress caused by whatever it was you’re referring to at the start re previous electrical work.

My experience with trades is that they expect you to trust them implicitly and yes, they get offended if you give any indication that you don't. So it is actually very difficult to do due diligence because they get all huffy. On the other hand, they expect you to pay them in advance for big pieces of work because of course, they don't trust you!

Ultimately, they can behave like this because there is a shortage of tradesmen.

@WonderlandWasAllAHoax maybe offended isn't the right word. He hardly spent any time answering my questions for free. It was via WhatsApp and even the time track shows < 5 minutes in our chat. The other thing is that provided that his registration checked out, the job was pretty much guaranteed. There wasn't a reason for me not to hire him then. And I didn't say it was his fault that things have gone wrong with my kitchen.

Did you tell him “if I can see your registration, the job is yours”? If not, how was he supposed to know?

At the end of the day it’s his business and he’s free to run it how he wants. Personally, after six years, I can afford to turn work away and can’t be bothered with customers who I feel are going to be a pain.

I also didn’t say you said it was his fault - but if you were asking lots of questions about what would happen if XYZ happened, he probably thought you would be awkward and basically either wanted to do the job or get rid of you.

I read your previous thread, OP, and I think I would ask similar questions to you.
However, from the other side, those questions could make the supplier think you're someone who is likely to pick fault with everything so that they can get money knocked off the final bill.

Unless you have very strong personal recommendations from people you trust, I think you'll just have to take it one step at a time. Firstly, I wouldn't go with anyone recommended by the dodgy fitter. Find your own certified electrician, and pay them to come out and review the work done and provide detailed recommendations on the work needed, and related cost, of bringing your property up to code. Decide on how they interact with you whether you'd also like them to undertake any remedial work needed or whether to choose someone different and go from there.

After my friend got burnt with a local garage saying they’d fit her a new car battery and it later transpiring they’d fitted an old one (despite charging and writing on the invoice for a brand new one), I asked AA breakdown to show me the battery they had just installed for me before I paid.

That was a long sentence, well done if you got through to the end!

It felt really awkward, but I explained why I was doing it and the man was very amenable. Maybe different when it’s someone representing a big company rather than themselves.

I’m sure it felt uncomfortable but if you explain/ed your past experience, I’m sure he will understand/understood.

my writing ability seems to be offline this morning, hope you get my drift 😂