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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to suggest my friend’s gf sees an optician?

1 reply

TheBerry · 06/11/2025 10:16

I met my good friend’s new girlfriend the other day. She’s late 30s.

When I met her, I straight away noticed a white reflection on her left pupil. We were in kind of dim pub lighting. It wasn’t super obvious, and I only saw it for a few seconds, so I thought maybe I’d imagined it.

But then, while we were eating, I saw it again.

It could be nothing, or it could be a cataract, or I guess worst case it could be a tumour. She may also already know about it. But she also may not, as it isn’t very obvious and I’m not sure she’d see it looking in the mirror.

I keep trying to text my friend to ask him to tell her to see an optician but I can’t seem to phrase it in a non-weird way. I don’t want her to feel self-conscious or awkward if it’s nothing. The chance that it’s a tumour is very low. But what if it is and I didn’t say anything???

I wrote this but it just sounds like I’m being weird and I don’t know whether to send it: “Btw I meant to say to you before, random, but pls could you double check GF has been to optician?? Only because I noticed on her left pupil a white reflection, it can be nothing but also it can sometimes be an eye problem.”

I’m autistic so I just literally have no clue (at least that’s my excuse).

OP posts:
ZippyPeer · 06/11/2025 10:24

I think what youve written is ok. You could also add something like 'sorry if this is a bit weird, but didn't want to not say something and regret it if there was a problem. Was really nice to meet newgf, she seems great!'

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