To be frightened by my friend’s new staffy cross?

[Sistersammy]

A friend of mine has just rehomed a staffy, crossed with another large powerful breed. She has 3 children, age 9 and above. She doesn’t know the dogs background, as the rescue centre couldn’t be sure.

I think this is a terrible idea. I’m not against this dog being rehomed, but I really don’t think a rescue centre should be re homing dogs with this level of strength and power, with an unknown possibly traumatic history (as the dog was abandoned), to a family home.

My DH thinks I am unreasonable for feeling this way. I no longer want to visit my friend with my kids, as I’m frightened. AIBU?

Hi OP. I like Staffies, a lot, but you are not being unreasonable.

I am really surprised at the rescue centre because the ones I’ve come across are very careful to assess the temperament of the dog in lots of different situations, irrespective of the background, known or unknown.

I don’t know if your friend is able to manage this dog and I really hope, for the sake of the dog and the children, that things are going to be ok and that she will be able recognise if she needs to ask for help and then able to find that help. There are usually good local dog trainers.

What makes me even more doubtful is wondering how clear your friend was about the fit of this dog with her family before she took it on.

I hope the children are safe and that they are sensible and will not wind this dog up or cause problems. More than anything, I hope that this Staffy has found a home that can look after it properly, because the future for it is bleak if not. It will be important, particularly for the children, to realise that this staff isn’t overnight going to become their best friend or anything like the cozy store that you see on Instagram with rescue dogs in their new home. It will need time and quiet.

As for you, take your time and be careful. You’re not being unreasonable. I say that as a dog lover.

It takes a long time - easily 3 months of more- for a dog really to settle into a new home. Bear in mind that it is had at least one home before being in a rescue centre and then moved on and placed with your friend, who quite possibly is naive about what’s needed. Most Staffies try to please.

It reads very much as though your friend hasn’t the first idea about how to understand and manage a rescue dog and quite possibly isn’t interested in finding out.

Dog lovers can’t understand those who dislike dogs and those who dislike dogs can’t understand those who like them.

It’s a bit like religion. 2 sides viewing the same things but reaching very different conclusions.

I can’t understand why anyone would want a dog at all let alone around children. I’d never visit a house where any dog was present and certainly wouldn’t allow one into my own home.

It’s up to others what they want to do but I do get increasingly annoyed at the selfishness of many dog owners. A day at the park with my young DS is invariably ruined by dogs or probably more accurately dog owners.

The op says a staffie crossed with a powerful breed from an unknown background,there is a massive difference.
I have worked with dogs for decades and staffies are my favourite ,we rarely see a bad one but staffie crosses can be a mix of indeterminate breeds that have little resemblance other than their strength to the humble s.b.terrier.
I will always defend a staffie but some of the dogs i have seen over the last few years have been truly terrifying and before someone says 'it's the way you bring them up' bull shit ,some of these dogs are almost void of personality and will flip like a switch ,pretty scary in a controlled environment but i dread to think what can happen in a home with noisy kids etc .

OP, your friend and your husband are both very stupid.

Depends what it's crossed with.

It's not a banned breed and not legally required to have a muzzle. Age 9 and up kids should be fine.

It's a Staffie crossed with a large, powerful breed. Do you know what it's crossed with? No, you don't.
Do you know why it ended up in a rescue? No, you don't.
Do you know if it's reactive, or nervous, or good with kids? No, you don't.

I'm with you OP, keep well away.

I love dogs. No way would my children be going to that house.

I felt out with a friend for getting an untrained, clearly traumatised rescue staffy who she left alone in rooms with her toddlers and insisted the dog was like a babysitter. I turned up at her house for lunch, the dog was in the hallway behind her, baring it's teeth and looked ready to pounce so I left. I dread the inevitable, that one of them will be attacked by the dog

What would you think dog people should do?
Not have a dog so other people who don't like dogs can visit?
Do you think OP's friend should have asked her before adopting a dog?

OP doesn't want to visit, fine. But it's not the friend's fault.

OP doesn’t know what this dog is crossed with, I wonder if you’ve actually met the dog? And how much dog experience you have? It could crossed with a Labrador, could be a Mastiff or anything in between. I would hope the rescue have done their due diligence and I definitely do not buy into the rescue dog = damaged/traumatised/aggressive dog, but if you don’t want to visit the property, don’t.

Well, have you actually met the dog or just heard about it and decided you don't like it?

It’s best to keep away from your friend. Be there to support her when the inevitable happens.

I’d be concerned about not knowing the dogs history.

But as others say, staffies are adorable and great with kids. I’d trust a staffy over a yappy cockerpoo any day.

"the inevitable", don't be ridiculous.

Well, it's not inevitable.
The OP has told us the vague breed type and that's it. No idea if she's actually met the dog, what the adoption process was, nothing.
Starting to think it's actually a wind up as there have been stacks of threads on MN recently with a single post then radio silence from the OP, always on an inflammatory topic.

I wouldn't go near her as long as she has that dog. Im sick of the killer dog apologists.

The dog hasn't killed anyone but ok.

Indeed - we support a small rescue charity (and have adopted 3 (successive) dogs through them. They absolutely will not rehome any dog to a family with children under 14 UNLESS it's a dog with known 'provenance' they are certain is very good with children.

I am a bit frightened of them because they are extremely strong. As a breed they're known to be really sweet and loving.

Lots of lions and tigers haven't killed anyone. But I wouldn't want one near my kids.

I think people hear the Bull Terrier part of the Staffordshire.... and panic. Staffies are small and reasonably biddable dogs and certainly no more aggressive than really any other dog. I'd hope that the 'friend' here at least enquired as to what the other half of her dog's make up is. A large powerful breed could be anything, a mongrel, a boxer, a retriever - they're all large and powerful but make good crosses. Large and powerful doesn't mean it's going to be anything like an XL bully.

That said, a houseful of kids and a new adult rescue dog sounds like a disaster in the making. But I'd suspect that this dog is pure mongrel.

Freinds of mine had a staffie, she was small too. They had a smallholding with a few sheep and the staffie got it into her that she wanted to chase them, she kept getting in the field. She got one down and tore chunks out of it, it completely changed her personality and she became very aggressive. They had another dog that was a shitzu, the staffie killed it when they were out one day.

This was the same day their first child was born, I was terrified they weren't going to put the staffie down but they did

I know dogs and every staffie I've met is the softest shit ever, but this was terrifying. If they turn they are so powerful

Tell that to the families of the two 10 year olds killed by dogs in the uk within the last few years .

Rescue centres usually assess the dogs and don't let them go to homes with children if it's not assessed as safe. Staffys are really loving and loyal dogs and are usually great with children, I think you may be overreacting.

I can’t believe a genuine rescue centre would house a dog like this to the household you’ve described !!!
I bet she’s picked it up from a freebie site
and I double bet there is some thick twat of a man in the picture who thought getting a big dog makes him look more manly - ugh