To be cross with this paediatrician?

[Thesunisoutagain]

Took my 14 year old who isn’t happy but has been taking his adhd medication for school, to his adhd check up.
The paediatrician had a ‘grown up’ chat with him and things been going well. She said to me it’s his choice now if he takes the medication or not as he is older.
This morning he woke up and said based what the Dr said, he won’t be taking the meds as we can’t make him.
24 hours ago he would not have done that.
Is 14 really an age where it’s reasonable to put the decision making into a child with ADHD??
I feel this Dr made me life so much more difficult.

Oh sorry he got a detention but good on him for accepting that means meds are needed.

It’s not forever, he can try coming off them every 6 months say and see how it goes.

Yes but you can’t force a 14 year old to take medication against their will. They would just refuse.

OP I would focus on asking DS how does he know if he has made the right decision to stop, what measurabe things will he see if it’s working or not. I would also be encourging to look into startegies to help him, you can phrase this as looking for strategies to while he adjusts to not being not medicated. This make including involving school so he have breaks to play football or do a sensory circuit.

Thanks @NearlyDec so with adhd medication i’m told sometimes the co morbid conditions (if there is any) such as anxiety, ocd can be exaggerated.
The way he explained it to me what it’s like being on meds is he still has all the adhd impulsive thoughts to do things but he is able to not act on them.The medication makes him feel quiet, ‘boring’ which in his eye the alternative to his adhd self.
I think unfortunately when a child with adhd has lived 11-12 years without medication and has got used to the permanent hyped up state, it’s hard for them to accept that when they are calm, it’s still ok and just have to find themselves.
The few times i’ve had the chance to be around him while he was on medication, i could honestly cry. He is so lovely and sensible and can actually have a normal conversation with him.
We have compromise and reduced his dose where he doesn’t feel too anxious while on it.
Unfortunately I’m not sure he will ever see the pros of being on medication as he doesn’t think his behaviour is unacceptable when things go wrong it’s just that the adults around him are too strict.
I know people whose children know they are better off taking the medication but my son isn’t one of them unfortunately and not sure he will ever be.
All we can do for now is help him see all the good things he can achieve in the future and hopefully he accepts that sometimes that little tablet will just help him along in that.