How things have changed in 15 years

[SandwichShort]

It might be about another thread, there is a a few letters for that, but I do not care to remember them 🙃 I haven't visitedumsenet for a long time. So I am probably completely out of the loop of concerns as my youngest are now in high school. But I was so surprised to see an aibu thread about a 4 year old appearance. Admittedly I went to school a long time ago. But aibu, thinking (after reading the comments) that the worst enemy to parents taking their children to school...is now other parents opinions of their child's hair style etc? I think that is sad, I preferred to know that my child was happy at school and had friends. I really do think it is the insta/social nonsense that makes mums worry about things like that now.

I have the photos of me in the 80's..I used to cringe....but I think I am glad my children never got pulled into what others are...which Is why I think it, at times, is parents molding their children to trends that thwy would not be aware of

It was always like this.

Was it?

I think what I meant was...and I recalculated...my eldest is 22...mumsne5 was a kinder more community spirited place for mums to be supportive. Now it seems to be infiltrated by the have and have not site. By that, I mean, mums judge without any thought of differing variables in people's lives. It seems to be straight up....ohhh I am perfect, I would do this, that and the other. Maybe I think too much. But I think some people who are struggling get an outlet of acting perfect online while their life is crumbling, no one who is doing well would be on mumsnet. Unless they are trolls getting a kick.

I don't think it was always this tbh. I think that the current culture is children being told what is in, and then told how to have their hair, clothes etc, based on current mainstream culture. That is the only way I agree with you. But it is parents putting onto their children how they should look, based on social media, and that is sad, in my opinion

I see some children arrive at schools, clubs, etc. And I actually think it is fine, if the girl wants that. But I more and more believe that girls are being used as props for their parents.

I think you might have been living under a rock for the last 15 years tbh.
I have a 19 Yr old son and a 15 Yr old daughter.
I remember the kids at school decked head to toe in designer gear (bought out of the catalogue!) and the sneering at children not wearing nike/adidas trainers for PE.
As usual on mn there doesn't seem to be a middle ground, my kids were always sent to school in immaculate uniform, they had clean, brushed hair and I did get them the 'trendy' trainers for PE. They also wore what they liked at weekends (I made sure it fit them and wasn't just hole filled rags!). I think most parents aim for clean, nicely dressed but not worried if their kids get dirty- on mn it seems kids are either dressed entirely in Gucci or they haven't had a bath for a month and their primark clothing is three sizes too small 🤷‍♀️

To play devils advocate, parents who are aware of trends etc and apply them to their own child are helping their children to be honest. Whether it is wrong or not, children are learning and they don’t always have the awareness to not point out differences. Keeping up with trends helps children to fit in. In an ideal world, children could be whoever they want to be without criticism. But that’s not how it is.

I think every single one of us could give an example where they asked their parents for a certain hairstyle / shoes that everyone was wearing / bag that everyone had and how it feels as a child to be denied the opportunity to fit in. I can’t criticise parents who do all of this and prevent their children from unkindness by doing so.