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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report him missing?

7 replies

Alphole · 06/11/2025 00:45

I live with my adult DS and his son, his son is 17 and DS has full custody due to neglect etc from his mum.

I have posted here before and I don't want any judgement for letting DS move back in, he's found a new place and should be moving in in a few weeks with grandson (not sure how it'll go as grandson is unhappy about this). My son is autistic and I suspect grandson is the same. Grandson also struggles with his MH and regularly self harms, he smokes weed and barely eats and still cooks at night and leaves a mess. He won't talk to anyone about this so he's not had any counselling.

He also threatens suicide when he doesn't get his own way, all his friends are online and I know he has a Twitter and discord account.

He started at a college in September after not being to school properly in 3 years due to school refusal, it's gone ok, it's a foundation learning course. He was going most days before half term (I was driving him in as that's what he wanted) but since Monday he's not been, he said he felt unwell on Monday and Tuesday but he seemed fine. He doesn't go Wednesday's, he went out and didn't tell us where he was going. This was this at about 11. He finally answered at about 4pm and said he was in leeds for a concert, he said it was none of me business so he didn't tell me and told me to stop messaging him or hed block me. He was just ignoring my son when he was messaging him.

He then messaged me at about 11 and said he was staying and hanging around with his “friends” (people he's met online). Would the police do anything? I'm worried sick as he's 17 but he's vulnerable, this is a child who usually doesn't leave his room or go out unless it's to get weed or go to college. I also have no idea who he talks to online. He freaks out if we touch his PC. He's meant to be at college tomorrow but that wont happen.

Sorry if this is all over the place, I'm tired and worrying

OP posts:
humptydumptyfelloff · 06/11/2025 00:53

Oh op I’ve read your previous thread.

it must be so difficult.

I would give them a call and explain he’s vulnerable and your concerned as it’s very out of character

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 06/11/2025 00:54

I’d also get into touch with safeguarding at college

Arregaithel · 06/11/2025 00:58

what does your son think? @Alphole

HeyGuysItsNicole · 06/11/2025 01:08

He needs to learn some bloody manners first a start!

Knockonw00d · 06/11/2025 06:49

I would message once more and state that if he doesn’t respond you will be contacting police. Probably will scare him into replying and if not then yes, report. That’s what the police are there for. He’s a vulnerable young man acting out of character. Better safe than sorry.

toomuchfaff · 06/11/2025 12:30

HeyGuysItsNicole · 06/11/2025 01:08

He needs to learn some bloody manners first a start!

helpful... if he was a normal well adjusted person I'm guessing there would be no thread...

Ablondiebutagoody · 06/11/2025 12:34

Out socialising sounds like a positive development. Deal with the rudeness when he's back.

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