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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I rude to say this?

15 replies

EyeCanSeeYou · 05/11/2025 19:17

Just wondering if I’m being a bit precious to be annoyed about this, and if I was rude in my response

I have multiple different heart arythmias and have had different treatments including ablation, medication, and getting shocked out of it as an emergency. I’m very aware of my symptoms and my normal.

unfortunately when I’m in a funny rhythm it makes me feel really unwell- after 30 minutes or so my body starts to tremble/shake and I sweat a ridiculous amount- I’m talking soaked through a t shirt in minutes. In fairness considering my heart is going anything from 180-250 I think it’s not surprising. It can sometimes make it tricky to get a good ecg tracing because I literally sweat the stickers off in seconds, and because my body is sort of trembling it makes it even more difficult. Usually the staff are really nice and they understand I can’t help it and I’m trying my best to lie still.

anyway, I had it recently where the nurse was taking the ecg and kept saying she couldn’t get it because I wasn’t staying still. I explained to her that this always happens when I go into a funny rhythm and I’m trying my best but I really can’t help it, and she snapped back that I needed to stay still and follow instructions. I was trying my absolute best, but I was drenched in sweat and the stickers kept coming off. I was embarrassed and the atmosphere was a bit awkward so I kept apologising and she was clearly SO annoyed at me, and told me she couldn’t get a reading because I was so anxious and wasn’t following instructions. Then she went on and started implying I was having a panic attack. I replied back that I was NOT anxious, I just felt rubbish because my heart was stuck at almost 200. She then said ‘look at you, you’re clearly very anxious and that’s why you’re sweating and moving’ at this point I was getting fed up, and I replied that I have had this arythmia more times than she has probably seen it and I know my own body and I’m NOT anxious/ I’m tired and feeling sick and that’s why I’m sweating and shaking. She then said well I can’t help you if you won’t follow instructions to keep still, I was fighting tears at this point and she tried the ecg again and then she gave me such a fed up look and said it’s rubbish because I won’t do what I’m told and follow instructions and keep still so they can’t read anything from it. Then she went on and told the doctor I’m too anxious to get a good tracing and I’m panicking. Thankfully the doctor ignored that and helped me and after 7 hours of it I was finally out of the rhythm

it sounds so silly reading it back, but it was just such an awkward encounter and it’s left me wondering if I was rude? I’m biased because I’ve had a few bad experiences where I was fobbed off as anxious and had to get multiple shocks to get me back to normal after spending 10+ hours going at 200+ because I was ignored and told I was having a panic attack and just anxious even though I told them I wasn’t

OP posts:
47andahalf · 05/11/2025 19:20

It sounds much more like she was the rude one.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/11/2025 19:20

She sounds a delight! Not!

Yanbu to tell her to go and get Someone else to do it.

I hope you’re feeling better. It must be absolutely exhausting to have your heart going like that. Take care and rest up.

TalulahJP · 05/11/2025 19:23

That sounds horrific. Im sorry to hear you had to go through that. It sounds like shes really ignorant and doesnt understand what it’s like to have that problem. Thank god you got it sorted and the doctor understood your symptoms.

Gottocopebymyself · 05/11/2025 19:28

No you weren't rude OP.

She was very ignorant.

I'm glad the doctor clearly knew what he was doing.

It just is so worrying because there must be many patient who are treated in an ignorant as you were. But who aren't able for one reason or another to make themselves heard. And who end up not getting the medical treatment that they should.

FullOfMomsense · 05/11/2025 19:37

Complain to PALs! If you're that tachy you're going to be sweating and moving, if you know that's normal for you she should have listened! If you were having a panic attack someone speaking to you like that would have only made it worse.

If you know her name add it to your email, if not a description and time and date will help to narrow her down, they do all the work for you and she'll be given more training if needed (it sounds like it is needed!)

Endofyear · 05/11/2025 20:46

She sounds awful and you should definitely put in a complaint with PALS. You need to reiterate the fact that you have had treatment for this condition multiple times and have never been treated this way by a health professional before - her behaviour actually made it more difficult for you to be able to cooperate with the treatment because she was berating you for something you couldn't control. She is a danger to patients if she treats people this way and doesn't listen to them.

SmockAndBeret · 05/11/2025 20:52

You were not rude. She was clueless, rude and unprofessional, and you deserve better care than that. Thankfully the doctor was more professional.

If this happens again ask for someone else or for the doctor to come sooner. Not sure if I personally would complain to PALS in your situation, but YANBU if you want to.

PregnantPumpkin · 05/11/2025 20:56

Sorry you had a crap time.
I go into svt - not sure if that's also what you have or similar, but can sympathise that it's scary when it happens and super annoying when people fob it off as stress related or a panic attack! Like no I actually have a dodgy pathway in my heart, the electric isn't flowing through it properly, this is a medical emergency where they need to interrupt my heart beating temporarily with either medication or electricity!! The defib isn't going on because I'm having a panic attack!
The nurse should have no way been rude to you. In fairness if the ECG stickers aren't sticking because they're getting sweated off or your movement is causing a lot of interference then it isn't possible to get a clear enough reading to read an ECG, but that's not your fault.
I'd ring and speak to the ward manager so it can get fed back to the member of staff.
Hope you're feeling ok now.

FrodoBiggins · 05/11/2025 21:06

She sounds like an arsehole. Hope you're feeling better now OP

TerrierSlave · 05/11/2025 21:14

Even if you were just anxious, her being an arse about it would only have made it worse. You weren’t being rude, but she was. Hope you’re feeling better.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 05/11/2025 21:22

As someone with extensive experience of this... she's a shithead.

IME Doing all the prep beforehand (ie getting cables organised and your clothing sorted then using Alcohol wipes and going quickly will help.

I think people who have these kinds of disorders all have their own story. I have had a truly shit year with it.

All time low was when my HR had been stuck at 210 for almost 12 hours so i wss exhausted and I was given 12mg of adenosene without any warning by an HCP.... he found it really funny and kept laughing about it both when it happened and when i was discharged... 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 the dr at least seemed horrified and couldnt stop apologising.
Luckily i am unlucky enough to have had it multiple times before so when the wave of "im going to die!" Hits you... you know you wont die and just have to keep breathing for 20-30 seconds... but if it was my first time i would gave been utterly terrified.

Overthewaytwice · 05/11/2025 21:25

No, not at all (the nurse sounds really rude and unpleasant though).

I'm sorry you had a rubbish experience Flowers

soreshoulders · 05/11/2025 21:28

You weren't rude and would have been in your rights to ask for a different nurse. I hate it when medical professionals don't think you know your own body with your own conditions.

faithcrowley · 05/11/2025 21:31

Not rude. In fact it sounds as though you were trying to be as accommodating as possible despite the fact you felt so unwell and had bigger worries to think about!

A nurse told me to “calm down and stop panicking” because my heart rate was high on my observations. Turns out I was in SVT from sepsis 🙃

TheLilacStork · 05/11/2025 21:39

It sounds to me like she was really struggling to manage to do it and took it out on you. It also sounds like she is inexperienced and also rude, anyone with any experience would spot that you aren’t feeling well and expect those symptoms with someone with your history. They should also be able to manage this kindly and professionally. Even if you were ‘anxious’ her behaviour is not going to help! You poor thing, what a miserable unkind lady she was. Hope you are feeling ok now

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