hi, not posted before so hope this is ok. sorry if doesn’t make sense im properly shattered. ive got 4 DC and im pregnant again (due after christmas) and me and ex split a few weeks ago. it wasnt some big dramatic thing we just werent getting on anymore and arguing all the time and it was doing my head in and the kids were picking up on it so I told him its better if we have space. he still comes round to see them but its like he thinks that means he doesnt have to actually HELP anymore?? like he just sits on the sofa on his phone or goes in the kitchen and makes himself tea and then leaves again like hes still some sort of guest.
I dont drive so everything is on me. walking to school twice a day with the pram, carrying shopping on the bus, all the bedtime stuff, all the morning stuff, all the washing and cleaning and making meals and dealing with tantrums and the older one having attitude and just everything. I know thats just mum life but it feels so much heavier recently idk if its because im so pregnant and everything hurts. my back feels like its going to snap in half most days tbh and im barely sleeping cos the littlest still wakes loads and im up every hour. ive tried talking to ex but he just says well “we’re not together anymore so its your house your rules you sort it” which is just ??? like hes still their dad??
money is tight too im trying to keep up with bills and food and the landlord has put the house up for sale so i dont even know whats happening next. ex gives me a bit but honestly its barely anything and he keeps saying he needs his own place sorted first before he can help properly but i literally need help now. even small stuff like could he pick up some milk on the way round or maybe take them to the park for an hour or just do bath time occasionally so I can sit and breathe for 5 mins. he says thats me “treating him like my partner again” but im not I just need HELP.
he sees them maybe 3 evenings a week and like I said its just him being here not actually doing anything. when i ask him to help he says im having a go and leaves and then i feel guilty and end up apologising cos I dont want drama in front of the DC.
I just feel like im doing everything on my own and hes acting like now we’re not together he doesnt need to do anything except show his face. AIBU to think he should still help a bit?? sorry for the long post im just so tired.