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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that maybe I could get a goodbye from one of my mindees or their family?

18 replies

OFSTEDoutstanding · 06/06/2008 19:46

I have been childminding for one of my mindees aged 5 for the past 6 months. He has been challenging to say the least, no manners-he calls this house the please and thank you house because this is the only place he has to say it!, no ingrained hygiene habits-if I don't stand outside the bathroom door he tries to wlk out without washing his hands and then I have to actually supervise him doing it or he just runs the tap and walks back out! and when he is eating he lays with his head on the table unless I tell him otherwise.
I appreciate he is only 5 and does need help remembering things like manners and handwashing etc but what really annoys me is that every night at home time I say bye and both himself and whatever family member has collected just walk out the door without even a grunt. AIBU to expect a goodbye at the end of the day bearing in mind I have him 15 hours a week and 40 hours in the holidays or should I just put up with not even being acknowledged by his family?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 06/06/2008 19:48

YANBU

The adult could at least say goodbye. How rude.

NotABanana · 06/06/2008 19:48

YANBU

Don't say bye to them next time and see what happens.

Clearly they think you are just the hired help.

puffling · 06/06/2008 19:48

Do you have a waiting list of other children? Perhaps you could swap him for a nicer one!

GordontheGopher · 06/06/2008 19:49

I wouldn't have even taken him on tbh. I'm quite choosy about my mindees. He sounds like too much work!

janeite · 06/06/2008 19:50

Well you know exactly why he doesn't say please and thankyou etc. He's obviously not being taught any manners at home. Thank goodness you are insisting on them.

FranSanDisco · 06/06/2008 19:51

What a charming family. Can you say next time they leave "you're fired" ALan Sugar style and get a new one

OFSTEDoutstanding · 06/06/2008 20:15

Wish I could FSD but the problem is I am 6 months pregnant and even though I am only taking a couple of weeks maternity leave (can't afford to take any extra time off ) Noone wants to take a risk and sign up with me at the moment so I am having to try to keep him as I can't afford to lose him even though he is having a really bad effect on my ds aged 2 and the other mindees seem to have lost their manners as well lately, I feel all I do is nag from 3.30 until 6pm!

OP posts:
PinkChick · 06/06/2008 20:24

ooh ooh oohh..i didnt know you were pg?????? Congratualtions...

now reg this family, ill give you the advice my dp gives me..its your business, its up to you what you do with it so you either keep smiling and get on with it or kcik em out!...TBH chick i have similar situation, new starter too!, so doubly shocking...i have resigned myself to the fact i CANNOT change the parents(child is lovely though in this case), so if she doesnt want to talk, then ill not waste my breath ..not in my nature, but ive just got to the point were im sick of trying with some people!...i can understand you cant get rid right now, but why dont you ask around at school see if anyone wants a bit of adhoc/temp care..i seem to get a bit of this lately??
and remember you ARE BETTER THAN THIS..you dont get OUTSTANDING for nothing y'know

good luck chick

NotABanana · 06/06/2008 20:27

I'm sorry, but I feel your child's welfare comes before someone else's child and money. for you though.

PinkChick · 06/06/2008 20:34

sorry chick we were posting at same time..i would seriously think about if it is having such a poor and negative effect on you and yours then if so im afraid i can only suggest notice

southernbelle77 · 06/06/2008 21:07

I have just given notice to a mindee of similar nature (although parents not like it at all). Mindee is a couple of years older and I am sick to my back teeth of always having to say xyz.

You have to do what is best for you and your family. I just could not cope with it anymore, especially as it is having a detremental effect on my own dc.

YANBU but also feel sorry for mindee as family are clearly not teaching any form of manners.

nzshar · 06/06/2008 21:08

I'm with NotABanana this is why I gave up childminding. My child was worth more than the money and trhe fact that we have gone into debt for the few years before he starts school is worth it. When I was childminding I had a 4 year old like this and my ds was 2. He was bullied and taught bad manners (my ds that is). Just not worth it.

BEAUTlFUL · 06/06/2008 21:23

I feel sorry for that little boy! If you stop looking after him, he'll never have anyone to teach him manners. He needs you.

nzshar · 06/06/2008 21:27

CM's cannot always be martyr's (sp?)

Heated · 06/06/2008 21:27

Boy he sounds like hard work. I'd be tempted to swing the door shut with a bang as soon as his foot hit the porch. However, really I'd probably remind him, in front of whoever's come to collect him, that it's nice to say goodbye...and do so every day if needed.

But maybe I'm not a good example, last week I told a woman she had the manners of a goat

Mutt · 06/06/2008 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newgirl · 06/06/2008 21:31

i wonder if you could say something to him nicely as hes getting ready to go? it would be lovely if you could say good bye to me i would like it - so he learns good manners from you? Smile so sweetly and the parents might learn something too!

NotABanana · 06/06/2008 21:42

that is mean to goats!

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