Please tell me how to stop comparing myself

[amIfeelingabitblue]

I have a lovely life really- husband and a lovely son, a house and no money worries (though we are not rolling in it) I have been trying desperately to get pregnant now for years and it looks like there won't be any more children- there are also some risk factors why I cant do IVF plus it would bankrupt us. It's male factor (plus I have some dodgy hormones/ irregular cycle) but I feel somehow that I am a total failure and everyone around me constantly falls pregnant! How can I stop comparing myself? Please please tell me how I can get over this!

You'll need to grieve the finality of not having another child. Grief comes with a lot of difficult feelings that you are experiencing, and the more you let it do its work in a productive way, the 'easier' that transition will be (not easy but you are a lot less likely to get stuck in a forever cycle of shame and envy). Working with a therapist who is experienced in grief/infertility might be a great start.

Thank you. I have previously started talking therapy but I didn't find it helped, unfortunately. I kind of just ran out of things to say.

There isn't an easy answer to this. I wish there was one. At least one of the things I would suggest is to stop going on Facebook and any other social media where your friends/people you know are constantly posting photos of their families with kids etc. Unfortunately, social media can be like putting salt in the wounds sometimes. Maybe even temporarily limit your time with those, who constantly talk about nothing other than their kids too. There needs to be a grieving period for this like for any other loss. I hope it will get easier with time.🌺

Thank you. Well I do have a wonderful DC so I am automatically meeting other families! I have already left Facebook etc. so can't really make any changes there either...