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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Deeply missing a school friend who was an anti-bully 20 years ago when I was 11?

10 replies

LoyalJadeFish · 04/11/2025 20:11

I'll try and make this short. I've been through a lot. Was bullied most of my school years because of how I looked. For a while I was homeschooled due to bullying. On top of that my father was abusive to me and mum and I had severe epilepsy. When I was 11 I started secondary school (a PRU) and immediately began getting bullied there too. I remember having this awful day one day and a whole group of other girls began bullying and humiliating me. I felt like I wanted to disappear. Then he showed up. I feel so bad for not remembering his name, but I remember his face vividly. He chased the girls off and we instantly befriended one another. It was almost like something out of of a Disney film. We became friends and I was free from bullying as long as he was there.

He was older than me so after the school year finished, he was gone. I felt empty, and I started to get bullied again, some of that bullying still causing issues in my life now. I did get some more friends in sixth form, but then I became chronically ill for many years, my diagnosis being significantly delayed from doctors not taking me seriously until SHTF and they pretty much abandoned me. Right now I just feel lonely. The only family I have are my stepdad, my mum who isn't well, my brother and my 14 year old cat. I've just been asked to get into a program to help get me some new friends and get my confidence back. The illness affected my memory significantly, I don't remember the years I was ill. Seems more like a few months and I'm still coming to terms with the lost time.

Whenever I feel sad like this, sometimes I think to myself "what would HE say/do?" the adult version of him. He seemed like the person who wouldn't take anything from anyone. I don't know if it was because of how young I was or what but he had a lasting effect on me. I remember the music he liked to listen to. I listen to it sometimes and it instantly calms me down, to me it almost sounds like a lullaby. But it also makes me feel sad because I hope he's doing alright himself and I hope he's still alive. The school I went to was a PRU and it was for people with things like health conditions, learning differences or behavioural problems. I don't think it gave out yearbooks and it closed down years ago so I don't even have any leads.

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 04/11/2025 20:15

Look on Facebook for a school website or the areas Facebook page and ask if anyone was there for the years you were?

LoyalJadeFish · 04/11/2025 20:17

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/11/2025 20:15

Look on Facebook for a school website or the areas Facebook page and ask if anyone was there for the years you were?

I'd go on Facebook and ask, but I don't want to do the video selfie thing it asks me to do before I can do anything else.

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 04/11/2025 20:18

What video selfie thing??

LoyalJadeFish · 04/11/2025 20:20

Ohthatsabitshit · 04/11/2025 20:18

What video selfie thing??

This

www.reddit.com/r/facebook/comments/1kqlj0s/facebook_requires_me_to_upload_a_video_selfie_to/

OP posts:
Ruchardson · 04/11/2025 20:25

I think your strategy of

“what would he say/do?” in difficult emotional situations is an excellent one OP - helps you and gives you hope ❤️

LoyalJadeFish · 04/11/2025 23:36

Ruchardson · 04/11/2025 20:25

I think your strategy of

“what would he say/do?” in difficult emotional situations is an excellent one OP - helps you and gives you hope ❤️

Good to know. I wonder if he'd even remember me if I encountered him again. It's been so long.

OP posts:
Octaviathethird · 05/11/2025 00:01

Have you googled the name of the PRU? You might find people talking about it online, which might give you some more info? I went to 3 different PRUs, at least 2 of which no longer exist, in Wiltshire and Gloucestershire, just in case by some mad coincidence one of them was the same as yours! I have people I met when I was younger that had a huge impact on me too, that I miss and wish I had kept in contact with so I understand that yearning feeling x

Summerevening · 05/11/2025 00:13

@LoyalJadeFish I'm so sorry things have been so difficult for you. Your friend sounds lovely. Do you remember the names of any of your teachers from the PRU? Could you look any of them up and ask if they remember him?

BlueSeagull · 05/11/2025 04:08

what’s PRU ?

hidinginthebathroomagain · 05/11/2025 04:46

BlueSeagull · 05/11/2025 04:08

what’s PRU ?

It’s a special unit for kids who can’t or won’t attend mainstream school.

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