AIBU to wish they would listen?

[MidSurreyNightsDream]

My daughter is turning three in January, and since the summer has been asking almost daily for a dolls house for Christmas. A few weeks ago I found one online by Le Toy Van, that I know she’ll love.

This afternoon, my aunt messaged to say that they had bought her one. For context, we had already told my aunt and uncle that we would be buying the dolls house, and we had suggested they put something towards it, like a furniture set. The same pattern happens every Christmas, where we tell my aunt and uncle about the main present we intend to get our daughter, and they always undercut us by buying a cheaper ‘temu’ knock off that easily breaks and looks awful.

True to form, the dolls house they have bought is poor quality and looks tacky, which I know our disappoint our daughter. It upsets me that each year we strongly hint/insist that we buy the main present but they never listen. My husband is now insisting that we should ask them to return it, or we should go ahead and get her the one we chose anyway. I on the other hand don’t wish to offend them, as I know it is well intentioned. Any advice?

Tell them you’ve already bought her one? Thank them for the kind thought and suggest something else if they can exchange it. If not, can it stay at grandmas house?

You'd rather upset your DD than offend your aunt and uncle? Who refuse to listen to you? Really?

Your DH is right.

Buy the one you want.

Life is too short to worry about people who have ignored what you have told them

Get them to return it. MIL had the habit of doing similar, and one year bought a massive castle for my DS', we didn't have the space to store, let alone build it. MIL was pissed off, but guess what, it never happened again.

I reckon you could say look, we've got her a really fancy one- would you mind awfully returning yours and getting some furniture instead? It would be sad if she received two, and we won't have room for both so I dont want your present wasted.

and stop telling them what you’re getting her. Next time just suggest ‘craft activities’ or similar

Tell them you have already purchased one and ask them to return theirs. Don’t let them persuade you otherwise. You need to tell them they have overstepped the mark by buying something you had told them you were going to get.

Ask them if they were struggling to find furniture sets and send them a link to suitable ones at different price points.

What your husband wants for his child is more important than what your aunt and uncle want. Listen to him. If you can’t bring yourself to tell them you don’t want it, accept it and give your daughter the one you like anyway.

I quite like the idea of telling them that we have already bought one, though they will probably still gift her the one they’ve bought!

@SardineJamIronically my aunt bought our son a toy light up castle last Christmas, which looked great…until we unboxed it and found that it was 2D and wouldn’t stand up properly, even when propped against a wall. We binned it after a week, because some cables became exposed and were prone to sparking 🤦🏼‍♀️.

Buy the one you want to get and eBay the other one. If they ask about it ( why should they it’ll be in her room) say it broke.

Don’t tell them what your buying, tell what you want them to get daughter- I’d ask for money to put in savings account or items such as a pyjamas, duvet sets and be specific ones she’s asked for AND say no other will do.

Can a 3 yr old tell the difference between a ‘quality’ one and a Temu knock-off?

You and DH buy your DD the dolls house you want to and tell your aunt that you have already bought one. If they insist on gifting theirs to your DD put it on ebay or Marketplace and use any funds towards buying some furniture for your dolls house. In future don’t tell your aunt what you are buying DD for birthday / Christmas