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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another dodgy cleaner

12 replies

Notusualnameobvs · 04/11/2025 16:44

My elderly neighbour (mid 80s, widower) has a weekly cleaner. He doesn't stay in while she's there. I know her as she used to clean for us.
I'm assuming she is paid for an hour a week (it's a flat). His front door faces ours. I check our doorbell camera footage daily and have noticed for the last several weeks that she never stays for more than half an hour and today was in and out in 20 mins.
She charges top rate for our area. He's been very good to her and given her lots of decent household stuff for free. I feel he's being ripped off and disrespected.
My daughter says I should mind my own business and not mention it.
So
AIBU to say nothing or
AINBU to let him know what's happening

OP posts:
stomachamelon · 04/11/2025 16:45

If you know him well and have a good relationship I would subtlety ask/ tell him.

MummytoE · 04/11/2025 16:48

Are you sure a different arrangement hasn't been made? You said yourself you assume she's being paid an hour a week. It may be the case she's been paid for less time. Do you have any other reasons to believe she is dishonest or exploitative? I would broach it delicately

FuzzyWolf · 04/11/2025 16:51

I would check you have your facts right about how long she is being paid for first of all.

Adventing · 04/11/2025 16:57

Do you know for certain he’s paying for an hour? Or are you assuming? Could be she’s only meant to pop in and tidy, or that she does other jobs for him shopping etc. Unless you’ve seen proof of payment/time agreement, I’d stay out of it.

NewInks · 04/11/2025 17:03

"I'm assuming she is paid for an hour a week" So you are basing this on your assumptions, rather than on anything you actually know?

Notusualnameobvs · 04/11/2025 17:15

@FuzzyWolf indeed, which would be what I would check first if I raised it.
@MummytoE I'm pretty sure she wouldn't book for less than an hour. From my own experience she's very focused on the money.
@Adventing definitely only cleaning. He does everything else himself, he's not incapacitated at all.

OP posts:
muddyford · 04/11/2025 17:16

My DF has recently started to have a cleaner and he (and I!) would want to know this. You could say something like "Your cleaner is really quick these days" and just see.

Notusualnameobvs · 04/11/2025 17:16

@FuzzyWolf indeed, which would be what I would check first if I raised it.
@MummytoE I'm pretty sure she wouldn't book for less than an hour. From my own experience she's very focused on the money.
@Adventing definitely only cleaning. He does everything else himself, he's not incapacitated at all.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 04/11/2025 17:40

Ask him if he’s happy with his cleaner and would recommend her. If he say yes, then she’s doing the job he’s paying her for. If he says no, then you can tell him your concerns that she doesn’t stay long.

She’s perfectly entitled to be “focused on the money.” I do my job for the money and expect a cleaner does likewise. That doesn’t preclude her possibly having agreed just to pop in for 30 minutes between other larger jobs to do a quick tidy.

Notusualnameobvs · 04/11/2025 18:21

@muddyford that's a really good idea - thank you!

OP posts:
Notusualnameobvs · 07/11/2025 17:25

Thanks to all for replies and suggestions. I was able to drop into a conversation today that I'd noticed the cleaner seemed to be getting done very quickly these days. He was surprised but said he was thinking of making different arrangements anyway. I feel relieved that he knows and can make his plans accordingly.

OP posts:
Ladygardenerinderby · 28/11/2025 19:07

id defo check your facts , they may have an arrangement you don’t know about

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