To be worried about my DS?

[ONTHEFOURTHSTIKE]

Does anyone know anyone who is neurodiverse like my DS. He is 25, has a university degree, works full time, has his own car and drives. However, he has no social life, no friends and never dated. He also has never lived anywhere expect at home with us.

He goes to the gym but apart from that and work has no life apart from watching TV, reading books and going to the nearest local shopping centre which is Meadowhall. He has never been on holiday apart from with me and DH for the 1 week holiday me and DH take in the UK every year.

Yes my nephew is the same, similar age as well. He has a good job, can drive but prefers to cycle, he is in a tennis club but apart from that he never goes anywhere. He never meets up with anyone from the tennis club outside of the club, never sees anyone else. Lives with his parents still and yes only goes on holiday with them. He seems happy though.

I'm autistic. I'm the same, no social life by choice. I don't enjoy holidays. I don't particularly enjoy going out but will go round the shops to get stuff sometimes. I work from home.

The only differences are I am now married, my husband is also autistic and very similar, although a tad more social. I also have my own home with my husband, but lived with my mother until early 30s.

We have a very lovely and happy life together. I know to others it might not seem like it, as other people go on holidays, days out, trips, socialise a lot, meals out etc... But the thing is, we don't enjoy those things. I don't enjoy them at all, and my husband only enjoys them sparingly. We do however love our hobbies, and get a lot of fulfilment in our own ways.

If your son says he is okay and happy, please believe him. What is "no life" to you is a lovely life to us. I don't understand how my parents can be happy going on holiday all the time as they do.. It seems stressful, and I don't understand why anyone would dislike their home life enough to need to get away from it so often. But the truth of it is, people are just different (ND or not).

Yes I know two people - 1 family member and 1 friend of family, both live at home in their 30’s, work etc and now they do travel alone/ with friends (friends they made through work)

Does he seem unhappy, OP?

I agree that one big question is whether he's happy with his life. I do a hobby that involves a lot of people who live similarly to your DS (it attracts ND people); many of them seem quite happy with this way of living and the hobby as a limited social outlet.

The other question is whether you're happy for him to continue living at home for the foreseeable future. If not, you need to raise this with him. Could he afford to rent? Could he manage bills and other house admin? If not, is there support he could access to help him manage?

Is he happy with his life? My DS spends much more time in his room than I would like but that’s based on my preferences and Im not him.
Also, does he have a social life online? Lots of young people have online friends.

A 30yr old female cousin. She’s not diagnosed but I suspect she would qualify for an ND diagnosis.

She‘s happy and fulfilled with her life, her work and her hobbies. Her parents have set up the living situation so that she has a high degree of independence- she‘s expected to contribute in every way to the household and has her own space, but they all enjoy each other’s company if and when they do things together.

They are a little baffled and I think also worried, but she really is content with her life as it is. And there aren’t many people who could say that!